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artisanal film reviews | by maryann johanson

cinemastrology: cinemascopes for the week of 03.23-03.29

This cinemastrology stuff just gets weirder and weirder. Still not sure if it’s all a joke…

Here are the ten signs of cinemastrology, and — according to my informer — what counsel members of each sign have received for the coming week:

il rosa della bussola (sign of the compass rose): north, northeast, south, west, southeast, south, east, west

il chicco di caffè (sign of the coffee bean): venti, venti, tall, tall, grande, venti, tall, venti, tall, grande, grande

il coltello da formaggio (sign of the cheese knife): no, yes, maybe, yes, yes, no, probably, yes, no, no, no, potentially, no

il libro dimenticato (sign of the forgotten book): 4 8 15 16 23 43

il gnocchi avanzi (sign of the leftover potato dumpling): carbs? what are you thinking?

il pressa enologic (sign of the wine press): syrah, cab, merlot, merlot, house, sangioviese, pinot noir, syrah, merlot, defintely petite syrah

il pugnale avvelenata (sign of the poisoned dagger): stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab

il ratto nero infetto con peste (sign of the plague-infected black rat): leave the cage unlocked this week, but change the paper

il monarca lieto (sign of the joyful king): fire everyone. shred all documents. bribe the press.

il pittore pazzo (sign of the mad painter): stay in bed with the drapes drawn. avoid the valley.

(catch up with the unfolding story of cinemastrology here)



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