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artisanal film reviews | by maryann johanson

cinemastrology: cinemascopes for the week of 05.11-05.17

Here are the ten signs of cinemastrology, and — according to my informer — what counsel members of each sign have received for the coming week:
il rosa della bussola (sign of the compass rose): Your rule will remain uncontested as long as you maintain the confident facade — it does no good to allow your self-doubts to show. Whenever you find yourself wavering, tell yourself: Positive is as positive does!

il chicco di caffè (sign of the coffee bean): Suck it up. These are the dues you have to pay in order to make your presence known. It may seem as if you are being ignored, but one or two someones are noticing, and they are merely biding their time.

il coltello da formaggio (sign of the cheese knife): Jealousy will only get you so far, unless you actually use that envy to fuel your ambition. What others take for hunger and drive could well be mere rage at the dumb luck that leads others to success. Only you know.

il libro dimenticato (sign of the forgotten book): A word a day is only a word a day until you string them together in a way that makes the world sit up and take note. Wonder why your efforts fail? Perhaps more than a mere word a day is demanded.

il gnocchi avanzi (sign of the leftover potato dumpling): Get yourself in shape, buy a few new things to wear, and get back on the circuit! You’ve only yourself to blame for the pitying glances you draw these days! Show them all up.

il pressa enologic (sign of the wine press): Ah, the sweet pleasures of regular intoxication will never be appreciated by those who deny themselves. Every day isn’t too often for those who know what they’re doing — trust yourself and you’ll never go wrong.

il pugnale avvelenata (sign of the poisoned dagger): You push and push and push and no one notices, except those you’re pushing, but they hardly count, do they? It’s the important people who fail to appreciate all you’ve done, even when it benefits them. But they’re soon see the error of their ways.

il ratto nero infetto con peste (sign of the plague-infected black rat): Sunning by the poolside with an entourage or nursing a drink alone at the bar, you are king of the world… the only part of the world that matters, at least. Those you suffer to prostrate themselves before you can be useful.

il monarca lieto (sign of the joyful king): Numbers on a contract are your friends… if they’re big enough. But they’re never big enough for you, are they? Wonders never cease, unless you stop them. But do you dare?

il pittore pazzo (sign of the mad painter): Remember shag carpet? Depending on its color and the thickness of the padding, it could fly… or take a drive through the hills on a gorgeous Sunday afternoon. Why? Why not?

(catch up with the unfolding story of cinemastrology here)



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