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artisanal film reviews | by maryann johanson

no sign of my cinemastrology correspondent

My cinemastrology correspondent — the person who has been supplying all this insider stuff about the insane new “religion” that is supposedly gripping Hollywood — is nowhere to be found. Last week this person alluded to a big celebrity scandal that was about to hit, but I’ve been haunting Defamer and Gawker all week and haven’t heard a peep about anything. A sign that the whole thing is bullshit? Or a sign that publicists and managers and agents and the like are really good at keeping the really bad stuff quiet?

And why no cinemascopes from my correspondent this week? Does this mean he/she has gotten caught passing this stuff on to me and has either been forced to stop… or been driven out into the desert in the middle of the night, never to return? Is it the magical influence of Filamadamus at work? (And speaking of which, where is Michael Ironside these days?) Or is Scientology even stronger — and more desperate to hang onto its dominion — than we have previously suspected?

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