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such a nasty woman | by maryann johanson

opening wide today: ‘We Own the Night,’ ‘Elizabeth: The Golden Age,’ ‘Michael Clayton,’ ‘The Final Season,’ ‘Tyler Perry’s Why Did I Get Married,’ ‘Across the Universe’

We Own the Night
That thin line between cops and criminals goes right down the middle between “brothers” Joaquin Phoenix and Mark Wahlberg. They’re fighting over drugs and clubs in 80s New York now, but I’m looking forward to their brawl over Best Supporting Oscar nods come January. (my review is here)

Elizabeth: The Golden Age
Torture! Intrigue! Treachery! Holy war! Cate Blanchett in royal drag! Clive Owen in pirate drag! We are highly amused. If 10th-grade history was as much fun as this, no one would ever cut class. (my review is here)

Michael Clayton
George Clooney? George Clooney George Clooney George Clooney. George Clooney. George Clooney George Clooney — George Clooney George Clooney. Starring George Clooney. (my review is here)

The Final Season
An underdog high school baseball team strives to win the playoffs… and win back the hearts of their small Iowa town. Mom gives it a thumbs-up; apple pie had no comment. (not screened for critics, as far as I know)

Tyler Perry’s Why Did I Get Married
If you have to ask… Watch for commentary about the position of toilet seats and the lack of sex after the I-do’s. Carnac the Magnificent also foresees: ragging on in-laws, and an unexpected pregnancy inducing nausea among the audience. (not screened for critics, as far as I know)

Across the Universe
Lots of Beatles songs are set to a sigh-inducing transatlantic love story. What, you were expecting maybe a bloody horror movie about a rampaging axe-wielding maniac? That one’s coming, with Black Sabbath tunes. (I’ve seen this and loved it; my review is coming soon, promise)

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