Quantcast
subscriber help

the film criticism aspect of cyber | by maryann johanson

daily list: 5 products of Hollywood that are pure fiction

Newsflash! Experts say Indiana Jones is pure fiction!

It’s true! I mean, it’s true that it’s false! Or something. CNN.com tells all:

Though he preaches research and good science in the classroom, the world’s most famous archaeologist often is an acquisitive tomb raider in the field with a scorched-earth policy about what he leaves behind. While actual archaeologists like the guy and his movies, they wouldn’t necessarily want to work alongside him on a dig.

Indy’s bull-in-a-china-shop approach to archaeology will be on display again May 22 with “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull,” in which he’s sure to rain destruction down on more historic sites and priceless artifacts.

Real experts in antiquities acknowledge that the movies are pure fiction that present archaeology as blockbuster adventure, yet they cannot help but cringe at the way Indy manhandles the ancient world.

“There are codes of ethics in archaeology, and I don’t think he would be a member. Not in good standing, anyway,” said Mark Rose, online editorial director for the Archaeological Institute of America.

Well, duh! My favorite quote in the piece comes from Paul Zimansky, an archaeology professor at the State University of New York at Stony Brook, who says: “I wish he’d take more notes and things. What’s his publication record?” Awesome.

Soon we’ll be learning of all sorts of other things coming out of Hollywood that are entirely invented. Such as:
1. Iron Man. Have you ever met an engineering nerd as hot or as cool as Robert Downey Jr.? Thought not.

2. Ashton Kutcher. He’s an animatron produced by a secret lab in Japan.

3. All the “hype” around Battlestar Galactica. No one’s actually watching the show, and all the chatter online about it is produced by Cylon infiltrator bots.

4. American Idol. It’s all done with CGI.

5. Shark Week on the Discovery Channel. Sharks actually went extinct in 1987, along with whales and frogs.

(Technorati tags: )



Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in /home/flick/public_html/wptest/wp-content/themes/FlickFilosopher/loop-single.php on line 106
posted in:
daily list
explore:
  • JSW

    Iron Man is basically Howard Hughes in a flying suit of armour, and some would say that Hughes compared quite well with RDJ, before he went stark raving mad, at least.

  • Hdj

    2. Ashton Kutcher. He’s an animatron produced by a secret lab in Japan.
    Heh =)
    I hate that guy so much

    5. Shark Week on the Discovery Channel. Sharks actually went extinct in 1987, along with whales and frogs.

    No way Sharks live, there be alive when were all dead.
    Why 1987 though?

  • shoop

    I strongly suspected #3.

  • Hee! That reminds me of this:
    http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2006/10/10bryan.html

  • Jack

    3. All the “hype” around Battlestar Galactica. No one’s actually watching the show, and all the chatter online about it is produced by Cylon infiltrator bots.

    So I’m a Cylon?

  • You didn’t know you’re a Cylon? It can come as a shock…

  • MaryAnn

    Why 1987 though?

    It was a good year, I seem to recall. Except:

    Apparently I *am* a Cylon, who was activated in 2003. So my memories of 1987 are suspect.

  • TheGaucho

    “It was a good year, I seem to recall. Except:”

    1987 wasn’t a terribly good year for Bordeaux, as there was rain during harvest. That’s why most of the Grands Crus should have been drunk by now. They are somewhat diluted and flat.

    1988 was by far superior, but if you really want to go for it, choose 1982, 1985 or 1986. It’ll set you back a couple of bucks, but hey, life is too short to drink bad wine.

  • Sandy

    I studied Archeology in college way back in the day. When “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade” came out I was in a class working on a historical dig. Every single time someone would find something – a pot shard, a piece of glass, whatever – someone always felt obligated to yell, at the top of their lungs, “THIS PIECE BELONGS IN A MUSEUM!!”.

    I’m jonesing for the new movie, yes that pun’s intended.

  • “You call *this* archaeology?” – Professor Henry Jones B^)

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This