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such a nasty woman | by maryann johanson

please, for the last time, I am NOT Scarlett Johansson

And I don’t have a crush on the Democratic presidential nominee:

The sultry actress is amazed that Barack Obama has time to return her personal and adoring e-mails with ‘thoughtful’ and more than a brief line or two messages despite his busy schedule. But he does, often, with fan messages of his own to the 23-year-old film star.

There’s only one “S” in my “Johanson,” and I have a crush on Al Gore. Sorry, Barack.

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  • Does anyone honestly think that Barack Obama is reading all of his own e-mails? I’m sure that what is happening with him (and Hillary Clinton, and John McCain) is the same thing that happens with other people like Bill Gates: He has a small army of people and software filters who sift through his incoming e-mail, weeding out the junk that requires no response, forwarding lesser-import mail to minor demons who can respond on his behalf, and sending only the really important mail on to his chief of staff, who then vets the e-mail to determine if it’s legitimate before showing it to the VIP… who then rattles off some verbal response which someone else types in and sends.

    Bill Gates’ public e-mail address (billg@microsoft.com) used to receive something like 3.5 million e-mails a DAY. The trick is that Bill probably also has a private e-mail address which no one outside of his close circle of family and friends knows… and that address is probably set to automatically exclude any e-mail not from someone on his whitelist, so even if you guessed the address, you still couldn’t reach him. The technology to do this sort of thing is already available; I work with it every day.

    Are you really not Scarlett Johansson? ;-)

  • JoshDM

    So… no relation at all then? Can’t hook a brother up?

    What I’m trying to say here is that Scarlett is hot.

  • bitchen frizzy

    —“So… no relation at all then? Can’t hook a brother up?”


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