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artisanal film reviews | by maryann johanson

sign of the apocalypse No. 54,437,351

I am absolutely stunned to discover that I didn’t hate You Don’t Mess With the Zohan. I didn’t love it, but I didn’t hate it. It certainly was nothing like taking a bullet.

Somewhere, a seal has broken, demons are unleashed, and some rough beast slouches toward Hollywood. It’s probably Adam Sandler vowing not to let this lapse into almost-quality happen again, but still…



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  • MBI

    That’s a relief, because I thought the trailers were actually pretty funny — minus that bullshit about Rob Schneider being a Hezbollah terrorist, gag. It’s the first Adam Sandler movie in a long long time that didn’t seem entirely lazy.

  • JoshDM

    I dread “The Love Guru”. Why, Mike? Why did you bother making an Austin Powers movie sans Austin Powers?

  • I’m not an Adam Sandler hater, but the name, concept, and initial impressions of this movie made me roll my eyes in terror. Seeing the trailer, though, it did not seem to be nearly as awful as it should be. My girlfriend laughed at it, and then turned to me and said, “Oh my god, I hate myself, but that was pretty funny.” And I had to agree. I’m glad to see it’s not just us.

    I guess you need to amend your post from yesterday. Another reason you go see these types of movies is because sometimes they surprise you by being much better than they seem. Kinda like Talladega Nights, and some other movie recently that I can’t remember. Pleasant surprises are always really nice.

  • MaryAnn

    Yes, pleasant surprises are always nice, but I had no intention of seeing this at all until I was requested to do so by one of my newspaper editors.

  • Well fair enough, so that didn’t apply to that one. But it could apply to the same question when it’s asked about other movies in your “I’m Dreading” column that you go to see on your own. At any rate, I look forward to seeing the full review of the movie.

  • PaulW

    Relax, boss. Liking an Adam Sandler movie is NOT one of the signs of the Apocalypse. I mean statistically speaking sooner or later he’d make one that’s borderline watchable, so like I said, relax.

    The *REAL* sign of the Apocalypse would be if Britney Spears was hired to play Lady MacBeth for a film adaptation of that Scottish play… opposite Dane Cook as MacBeth… with the film directed by John “Hey let’s add more pigeons to the scene” Woo.

  • MaSch

    Well, there actually was another Adam Sandler performance – gosh, did I say Adam Sandler performance? – you liked before. If the apocalypse didn’t happen back then, when Punch Drunk Love camo out, why should it happen now?

    PS: I quoted (more or less accurately), as you noticed, an eminent film critics review of “Punch Drunk Love” with the “Adam Sandler performance”. :)

  • Jurgan

    [Spit-take] Really? That looked like the worst pile of shit imaginable. I spent the entire preview staring in slack-jawed horror. I am stunned at your response.

  • MaryAnn

    Well, there actually was another Adam Sandler performance – gosh, did I say Adam Sandler performance? – you liked before. If the apocalypse didn’t happen back then, when Punch Drunk Love camo out, why should it happen now?

    PDL wasn’t an “Adam Sandler movie” — he just happened to star in it. If you see the distinction. This is most definitely an “Adam Sandler movie.”

  • MaSch

    Yeah, I see the distinction. Good point.

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