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such a nasty woman | by maryann johanson

the GI Joe movie was low on my must-see list, till now

Damn, looks like I’m gonna have to see the GI Joe movie next summer, because Christopher Eccleston is playing the bad guy, Destro:

Loves me a villain in a sharp suit.

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  • JSW

    But you can see his face! You should never see Destro’s face.

  • angel

    Me, too! Maybe it will be better than The Dark is Rising. *fingers crossed*

    But, I also hear he’s just been cast as Hilary Swank’s co-pilot in a new movie about Amelia Earheart, so he can stop being evil for a little bit.

    Although, to be fair, evil never looked so good before.

  • MaryAnn

    I’d say it *has* to be better that *The Dark Is Rising,* except this is another movie based on toys, which is hardly ever a good sign.

    On the other hand, I heartily approve of Eccleston’s work ethic: You do the big dumb Hollywood movie and cash an obscene paycheck, and then you use that to subsidize doing the small interesting movies that pay shit. Rinse and repeat.

  • No, no. Destro was the guy with the Silver head. Cobra Commander was the guy with his face hidden behind a clear mask.

    Why the hell I know this is beyond me. I wasn’t allowed to have G.I. Joes or toy guns as a kid, and the TV show was always part of the afternoon block that was always dropped in favor of Canadian Content in Alberta.

  • John

    I’m still hesitant about this movie, based on some of the casting and the way they’re re-written so much of the theme. But I will say this, the more recent pictures of Sienna Miller as the Baroness are giving me some measure of hope. She had the glasses on, after all.

  • boz

    Ray Park plays Snake Eyes. Interesting, he’s behind a mask again.

  • PaulW

    I am actually dreading this movie now. I’m worried they’re gonna have the helicopter pilots keep bailing out with parachutes flying… (head thumping) A part of my childhood I could never wash from my mind…

  • Shadowen

    “Ray Park plays Snake Eyes. Interesting, he’s behind a mask again.”

    And mute, too.

    And PaulW, half the point of a PG-13 adaptation of something (and if you think it won’t be PG-13…) is so you can actually kill something.

  • paul

    The original cartoon didn’t take itself very seriously. If they keep that light-hearted heart, it could be okay in a big explosions sort of way. But then, I like cheesey movies as long as they revel in the cheese. Or it could be the Fantastic Four, which would be too bad.

  • Jigsy Q.

    Why does Destro have a normal head? I’m not seeing this movie if Destro has a normal head. Screw this artsy crap!

  • PaulW

    I will admit the Viper episode was brilliant.

  • paul

    Is that the one with the old man who wanted to wash their windows? The one that really stuck in my mind was when Duke and Flint were slogging through a marsh, and every time one of them wished for something, the show switched to another plot line that provided what they wanted. The way they played up the relationship between plot structure and coincidence was fun parody.

  • MaryAnn

    You people are demented. It’s a movie about boy Barbie dolls with fake beards and kung-fu grip.

    The only thing that could possibly make it worthwhile is Eccleston in that suit, being evil.

  • Ryan

    Yes, but MaryAnn, many of us played with those boy Barbie dolls…and thus have no choice but to obey our corporate overlords and fork over $10 to see this inevitably terrible movie.

  • paul

    The only thing that could make it worthwhile is a decent writer, particularly a funny one. Besides, I haven’t committed to seeing the movie. I’ll wait for the reviews.

  • Karen

    Crimany, MarryAnn! I saw the “Mars” on the door, and thought he was in the US remake of Life on Mars!

    *heart slows down*

    He sure does look sharp. Thanks for the heads-up.

    (I know nothing about GI Joe, so there was no MARS association there for me.)

  • MaryAnn

    I have no idea what the MARS thing is about, but if Eccleston was in the American remake of *Life on Mars* I’d be a little more hopeful about it.

  • Paul

    MARS was Destro’s personal organization, but they down played that in the cartoon. He used it for his arms dealing, which they hinted at from time to time in the series, but only gave that side of his life one episode of its own. It’s an interesting decision on their part to focus on MARS in the movie. I suspect they don’t want to defeat COBRA in the first movie because they want to leave room for a sequel.

  • PaulW

    I’m checking the IMDB listing… no Lady Jaye?!?! *facepalm* Movie’s gonna suck without her!

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