artisanal film reviews | by maryann johanson
Tue Aug 05 2008, 03:11pm | 20 comments
In case you can’t read the blurb, this is the “4th greatest B-movie of all time” according to Maxim magazine. I can only imagine how proud they must be, the moms of the women starring as the chainsaw hookers.
Holy shit, that looks fantastic! I know what movie is going right to the top of my NetFlix queue!
There are a lot of B movies out there. I am now wondering what it is about this one that motivated MAXIM to list it as #4? Check out the top 6 from that list. Now tell me you don’t want to watch Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers.
06. Evil Dead II
05. Escape From New York
04. Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers
03. Poison Ivy: The New Seduction
02. Beyond the Valley of the Dolls
01. Death Race 2000
how about ‘faster pusycat, kil kill’? you can’t beat russ meyer for b movie excess.
my reaction exactly Count shrimpula . I’ve heard of this but I always pass it up, seems like a dumb skin flick with chainsaws. I’m kinda been there done that, I’m more in to artsy Italian Horror movies now.
Oh, just came to me “Attack of the Killer Tomatoes ” now thats a classic B movie
The library in my private hell is stocked exclusively with Nicholas Sparks novels and Maxim magazines. Call this an unfair generalization if you must, but Maxim is no good at everything. Even the marketers of a crass B movie should be ashamed of appealing to its readers. Yes, you read correctly, marketing and shame in the same sentence; that’s the kind of perverse, twisted world the editors of Maxim have made for us.
All (well… most) hyperbole aside, the recommendations of a Maxim list or article mean nothing to me. I’d sooner consult a blind orangutan about what movies to watch.
Isn’t Maxim like a mimbo magazine?
Um, you guys didn’t really think I was offering the opinion of *Maxim* as something worth heeding, did you?
Didja not see the “oh-no” in the post heading? :->
It would seem that some of your (male) readers draw the line between enjoyable and execrable bad taste a bit differently than you do, MaryAnn! I still need to watch The Mighty Peking Man, Return of the Killer Tomatoes some other stuff first, so I’ll put off this pic until, well… indefinitely I suppose.
All I’m sayin’ is that whoever put the MAXIM list together thinks that HCH ranks up there with Evil Dead II, Escape from New York, etc. That’s some tony company for a movie I’ve never heard of. I think I’ll spend $2 at the video store to see what the fuss is about. The staff at MAXIM may be comprised of grunting ape-boys, but a number of the other movies listed demonstrate at least a decent appreciation of good camp.
I believe that most of the staff at Maxim is very intelligent and hardworking. It’s the product that they construct that is tailor-made for grunting ape-boys. When making lists of this sort, it is customary to include mostly movies that everyone on the planet would think of, and then to throw in one or two unknowns, usually items with names that simply “sound funny.”
The theory is that this will generate “controversy” which will ignite the mind and encourage debate among the hearty apes. It also bestows a certain aura of expertise on the list maker. I don’t blame you for being intrigued, but coming from Maxim, it must be a trap. They have closed my mind forever.
amanohyo – Very good points. How ’bout this as an alternative argument in favor of checking this one out: There is a lot of B-movie crap that no one is ever going to wrap up in a 20th Anniversary Edition. Why this one? It suggests to me that at some point HCH achieved some status that distinguished it from similar films in the genre. Or maybe someone just thought that the title and cover art would be eye-catching enough to make a buck or two off of a 20th Anniversary repackaging effort. I don’t know. Still, I’ve spent too much time discussing it to let it pass by. I’ll let you know how it turns out:)
I love how Maxim is backed full of ads for Axe and Vodka , its like “smell good, get drunk”. I doubt this dvd is all that special , it doesn’t event say uncut or new scenes, just promises a crappy movie in widescreen.Then of course it uses that big word ” grindhouse” that every one notices now.
Are you all really trashing this movie just on its title … or because it was recommended by Maxim? Not very open-minded! I have seen HCH, it’s a Fred Olen Ray movie, which means it’s more softcore porn than hardcore violence. It’s stupid to be sure, but it’s funny in the same way as the 60’s TV Batman was. When the chainsaw hookers and the good guys fight, you can practically see the “POW”‘s and “BANG”‘s in their cartoon bubbles.
All-in-all, this is a pretty harmless, not very violent, semi-funny movie. Not Oscar worthy, but not really “Oh-no!” either.
Are you all really trashing this movie just on its title … or because it was recommended by Maxim?
The title. The Maxim thing was just a bonus.
it’s more softcore porn than hardcore violence.
And that’s better?
When the chainsaw hookers and the good guys fight
Somehow, I suspect I’d be on the side of the hookers.
it’s more softcore porn than hardcore violence.
And that’s better?
I wasn’t making a judgement, but since you asked -> yes definitely. I much prefer sex to violence.
Are you on the side of violence or do you think that whatever we do – we should do “hardcore”?
I’m on the side of sex, too. But porn doesn’t necessarily equal sex, at least of the kind we should be celebrating, which is healthy and mutual and not exploitive and not geared exclusively to hetero men. I doubt this movie qualifies.
Well, I don’t want to get trapped into defending a film I’m certain you would hate so I’ll make one final point.
The hookers have the chainsaws, not the johns. To me, that makes all the difference.
Of course you’d be on the side of the hookers. Anyone wielding a chainsaw gets automatic cool points. That’s one of the many reasons why Evil Dead II should have beaten all competitors.
Also, honorable mention to “Killer Klowns from Outer Space.”
So if the hookers have the chainsaws, and this movie is all about the coolness of people wielding chainsaws, that would seem to belie the point that this movie is more about softcore porn than hardcore violence.
Everyone here seems to be on the side of sex, but what if the content was more hardcore porn and softcore violence, whose side do you take then?
I would imagine this Hollywood chainsaw Hookers is one of those movies with funny names to cover up the badness of quality the movie really is.
A few other B-movies also worth mentioning , Re-Animator and Fright night.
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