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such a nasty woman | by maryann johanson

celebrity idiot of the week: Britney Spears

It’s totally awesome when celebs get the Web. Like Britney! I love reading her Twitter tweets about how much she loves working out and newsflashes from her people about how she just had a Pinkberry and how she thinks all those tiny cars in Japan are so cute. (I think so too!)

And so it’s makes hella sense that Britney would want somebody super smart to run all her Net stuff. Like the British newspaper The Independent sez:

Britney Spears believes it’s so important to get the right “online media manager” that she’s narrowed the recruitment process down to Harvard graduates alone, according to a small ad she posted on the college’s private message board. That’s right: Britney thinks that only alumni from a university which counts 75 Nobel Prize winners among its affiliates could be up to managing her Facebook, YouTube, MySpace and Twitter profiles, plus her other personal websites.

It’s so true! Britney is so busy with working out and eating Pinkberry — and oh yeah, she’s got those adorable babies who love riding in the car, too! — that she totally needs some assists from brainy people like who go to Harvard. (President Bush went to Harvard too, and look how smart he is!) This is important stuff we’re talking about here, and if Harvard is good enough for the White House, it should be good enough for Britney, too.

Spears has half-a-million Facebook friends who can look at photos and listen to new tracks via her profile. On two of her websites you’ll find news, blogs and enough trivia to sate any fan’s virtual appetite.

That’s a lot of stuff to do. Someone has to decide which trivia is the most important to post, and it should be someone from a big fancy school like Harvard. Cuz then we’ll know we’re getting all the important stuff we need to know about Britney. I wouldn’t want to trust just anyone to make those decisions!

In fact, whoever gets this gig will be up against an international army of paps, bloggers and reporters hellbent on getting shameful pictures and the scurrilous gossip out to the public. Her web products are Britney’s counter offensive, and she means business.

See! If all the stupid mean people on the Web — who didn’t go to Harvard I bet! — are gonna be Britney’s enemies, she needs someone smart on her side, even if she has to pay them a lot of money to do it. Go Britney!

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