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artisanal film reviews | by maryann johanson

trailer break: ‘My Bloody Valentine 3-D’

Take a break from work: watch a movie trailer…


Wow! Lionsgate is promising a movie that actually shoots flames at the audience? Awesome… and daring. Imagine what the lawsuits are going to be like!

In the town of Harmony, don’t expect to be able to run down the frozen food aisle and escape unhacked up.

In the town of Harmony, don’t expect to be able to hide under the bed and escape from the clutches of the crazed slasher guy.

In the town of Harmony, they should know better than to paint a target on themselves by giving the town a name that simply begs for the most appalling tragedy to occur there.

From director Patrick Lussier, creator of such classics as White Noise 2: The Light, Dracula 2000, and The Prophecy 3: The Ascent.

Something tells me the scariest thing about this is going to be the idea that some promotional copywriter actually believed that “Nothing says ‘date movie’ like a 3-D ride to hell” was the way to promote this. But I won’t find out, because My Bloody Valentine 3D isn’t going to screen for critics. Woo-hoo!

My Bloody Valentine 3-D opens in the U.S. and the U.K. on January 16, though there will be special early shows on Thursday night at 10pm in the U.S. Get tix at MovieTickets.com and Fandango.



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  • Danglar

    3D horror didn’t work in the 80’s, and, judging by the trailer, it won’t work in 2009 either.

    Anyone remember Jaws 3D, or Friday The 13th 3D?

    But I’ve heard they’re making Piranhas 3D, that should be interesting.

  • MaryAnn I insist you go see this on opening night. Sit in the back though, I don’t want you to catch on fire.

  • The original was bad enough when I saw it on cable back in the ’80s. I highly doubt this will be an improvement.

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