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artisanal film reviews | by maryann johanson

opening in the U.K. May 1: ‘X-Men Origins: Wolverine,’ ‘Ghosts of Girlfriends Past,’ ‘Hannah Montana: The Movie,’ ‘Blood: The Last Vampire,’ more

X-Men Origins: Wolverine: I’m not enough of a comics fan to know whether or not Gambit and Deadpool got the treatment they deserved here, but die-hards probably won’t think so, just like there’s always a guy who thinks Wedge got the short end of the stick. But, you know, this ain’t called X-Men Origins: Deadpool.

Ghosts of Girlfriends Past: If you like obnoxious jerks who think that women who aren’t irresistibly attracted to him must be lesbians, then you’ll love Matthew McConaughey’s Connor Mead. So this is pretty much a movie only Connor Mead could love.

Hannah Montana: The Movie: Apparently this is about a little girl who sings and is stricken with a schizophrenia that leads her to believe that she’s also a character on a TV show. Very sad. [trailer]
Blood: The Last Vampire: This one is also about a little girl, except she kicks vampire ass. But it’s totally not Buffy, the Vampire Slayer, okay? (This live-action version of a Japanese anime is coming to U.S. theaters this summer.) [official site]

Is Anybody There?: Michael Caine as Michael Caine as a grumpy old stage magician who really really doesn’t want to be in the rest home he’s been packed off to. Also starring David Morrissey, who didn’t even get mentioned in the U.S. press for this flick, which sucks. [trailer]

Helen: A teenaged girl is asked to play another missing teen in a police reconstruction video (a crime-solving tool that seems to be way more popular in the U.K. than in the U.S.), and ends up becoming obsessed with the missing girl’s life. [IMDB]

The End: Documentary about cockney gangsters. [official site]



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