You know how yesterday I complained that there isn’t enough Christopher Eccleston in the trailer for Amelia? Well, here’s a second trailer for G.I. Joe, and he ain’t in it at all.
He’s the friggin’ super badass villain, with friggin’ laser beams on his head and stuff. How can he not be in the trailer? He destroys the Eiffel Tower, for Voldemort’s sake! How do you not acknowledge that? Are we supposed to take it from this trailer that the Eiffel Tower shoots a missile at itself?
I’m also quite peeved to be seeing huge-ass banners for the movie on multiplexes around Manhattan that do not feature my Chris at all.
Paramount is seriously dropping the ball here. If you want to get women older than 25 — and women other than those who are only getting dragged along to the movies to please their boyfriends — into the theaters for this movie, then how do you not play up the supersexy villain-in-Armani with the awesome accent? Or at least Dennis Quaid’s sexy good-guy team leader in his handsome military uniform?
Channing Tatum? Pul-leeze. Tell grownup girls that there’s at least one or two grownup guys to ogle here, and we’re so there.