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artisanal film reviews | by maryann johanson

trailer break: ‘New Moon’

Take a break from work: watch a trailer…


OMG it’s SOOOOO romantic. Cuz he KISSES HER on her BIRTHDAY!!!! And then he says she he’s ONE AND ONLY!!! And then Bella is SO CLUMSY which means we know she’s like a totally realistic girl! AND OMG the BLOOD!!! So Edward has to SAVE HER FROM HIS OWN FAMILY!!! That’s like so totally heartbreaking! And then Edward has to LEAVE BELLA!!!

I’m so totally gonna go hide under my covers and sob for A MONTH after I see New Moon, I SWEAR TO GOD!!!

OMG JAKE IS TOTALLY A WEREWOLF!!!

Oh *sigh* Twilight

New Moon opens in the U.S. on November 20, and in the U.K. on November 27.



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  • nyjm

    *rolls eyes*

    agreed.

  • Gina

    Didn’t they film that in a nanosecond? It feels like 2 months ago that Dakota Fanning signed on and they already have trailers for the movie? I didn’t see the first one, nor have I read the book but that can’t bode well for the ‘quality’ of this next installment.

  • PaulW

    Somewhere Peter Cushing is in the afterlife muttering “Vampires sparkling? You must be joking. I think you overestimate those teenage girls’ hormones…”

  • bats :[

    Gina, there’s nothing in the trailer that suggests that a lot of the action (such as it is) in the novel takes place in Italy with the Big Dangerous Vampire Mafia there (I can’t even remember the name of that group, only it begins with a V and I’m fairly sure that it isn’t Vermicelli); that takes place in the last third of the novel. Fanning is a member of the BDVM, so there’s a good chance that that part is being filmed even as we roll our eyes.
    There’s also virtually nothing that shows the transformation from Jacob to werewolf (scene 1: Jacob without a shirt; scene 2: wolf), so the CGI that is exploding the budget on the sequel is probably being worked on. Ooooh, the excitement!

    (I read MaryAnn’s accompanying commentary to my husband and his response, “she is *such* a bitch,” which, in our circle of friends is a High Compliment. Kudos, MaryAnn!)

  • Alli

    Bats, they’re done filming. Stewart and Fanning have already moved on to their next project. It doesn’t take very long to film moping teenagers crying over each other.

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