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artisanal film reviews | by maryann johanson

secrets of the universe and government conspiracies found in children’s movies!!!!

It’s true. IGNORE THIS AT YOUR OWN PERIL!!!!!

The government does not want you to know this. THREATS TO ME FOR REVEALING THIS INFORMATION WILL BE FORWARDED TO LAW ENFORCEMENT!!!!

Commenter “Rachel Masters” dared to post this yesterday in response to my review of Horton Hears a Who!:

I will tell you exactly what this movie is about, but you have to have a very open mind…
Watch the very beginning of the movie when the gum ball seed falls and makes it’s way toward the flower…if you know this Earth’s true history, that’ll make sense to you. Ever heard of Nibiru?

Then, look at the struggle of discovering other worlds and…inhabitants of those worlds and making ‘Contact’ (another movie)…

And then the struggle of telling the masses vs keeping it to yourself…look at JFK and listen to ALL his speeches, including the one about secret societies, aliens and such (youtube). They even allude to these things in the movie itself, Horton pretending to be JFK and also mentioning, mockingly and jokingly, to begin a secret society.
Oddly enough, children’s movies reveal the most truth when you know the truth and accept it;)
(I still enjoy this movie, and am also a Christian)

JFK WAS TRYING TO TELL US ABOUT NIBIRU AND NO ONE LISTENED!!!! So now it’s up to Jim Carrey as a cartoon elephant to save us all! Nibiru caused the Great Flood of the Bible, and it’s where giants where from, and angels. And it’s coming back in 2012!!! PREPARE YOUR FAMILY FOR SURVIVAL. JESUS IS COMING BACK WITH NIBIRU!

BUT THAT’S NOT ALL! THE UN AND BARACK OBAMA AND CUBAN COMMUNISTS ARE PREPARING A NEW WORLD ORDER!!! Probably to save us all from Niburi!! But it’s being kept a secret to prevent global panic!

I received this email from “Rick” yesterday — ON THE SAME DAY THAT RACHEL MASTERS POSTED HER COMMENT — THINK ABOUT IT!!! About my review of Barnyard:

I was stunned by the whole bizarre mess of a movie. I don’t know if you mentioned the cow (bull?) yelling out “It’s A New World Order” after scaring the crap out of the nasty human. I almost fell off my chair. The udder thing was a complete mystery to me until my cousin explained the NWO’s objective of blurring the lines between genders. This director is a nothing but a shill for the monsters pushing for One World Government. Ironically up until two years ago when I finally clued into the truth about 9/11 and then the NWO etc, the reference would have meant nothing to me.

The mystery is being revealed, people! THE SECRETS ARE COMING OUT! All the plans for planetary destruction and the return of Jesus and the New World Order are there IF YOU KNOW WHERE TO LOOK!!!

DO NOT let the government confiscate your copies of Looney Tunes Golden Age Collection Volume 6! It contains covert instructions on what to tell the driver of the Federal bus when it comes to take you to the reeducation camps so you get sent to the “right” one!!!

THIS IS ALL TRUE — IGNORE IT AND DIE IN THE ARMAGEDDON!!!



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  • misterb

    MaryAnn,
    It seems obvious that if you don’t take the conspiracy theories seriously, you’re part of the conspiracy. After all, you live in New York where the New World Order will be headquartered and Nibiru has a summer home.

    Your sarcasm is wasted on us.

  • Der Bruno Stroszek

    Boy, I would hate to be at Rick’s family get-togethers.

  • Michael

    C’thulhu fhtagn!

  • Ken

    WHAT ABOUT THE SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS MOVIE STARRING THE CLONE SCARLETT JOHANSSON NOT THE ORIGINAL VERSION WHO IS NICE CHRISTIAN GIRL!

  • Mike Franklin

    Oh yes, Nibiru.

    For anyone really interested in this subject beyond offering a guffaw or wrapping their head in tin foil, there are some good resources. But first, a basic outline…

    The whole thing is a collection of various stories and theories, with the one most likely being that our solar system is actually a binary system, ie: composed of two stars and not one. From there, extracts from the Kolbrin Bible speak of the ‘Great Destroyer’ that comes around every 3600 years or so and when it does, it wreaks havoc on the planet and its human inhabitants. Add to this the theories of Zecharia Sitchin regarding ancient Sumerian texts and the Long Count, Mayan calendar, and what you get the perfect doomsday scenario.

    In sum, sometime around 2012, this second star, a brown dwarf, will pass through the planetary plane dragging along its own compliment of planets, including Nibiru. This passing will cause unimaginable upheaval and by the time it finally exits, humanity is tossed back to the Stone Age.

    My favorite scenario is called The Millennium Prophesy. It is very well thought out, applying the many various pieces of the puzzle into a coherent whole…

    … well, if you believe in such things, anyway.

    Whether you buy it our not, it is both concise and readable for either the serious follower of the subject of for anyone with an ounce of curiosity.

    Recommended starting point:
    http://www.millenniumprophecy.com/science.html

    PS – The most recent images of Jupiter (Google: Jupiter) say that it was just smacked by some kind of asteroid or comet… which would tie in with the theory of the passage of Nibiru.

  • Nathan

    I love conspiracy theories and hidden histories and secret messages. Before the internet, I had to look for them in used paperbacks, cheap magazines, Cheeto-stained library books, or the occasional late-night tv show. But now with the internet it’s an embarrassment of riches. Even a couple of cable channels get in on the act on a regular basis.

    But the best thing is that out of all the thousands of crazy tales, a handful are going to turn out to be true.

  • Michael

    If the Mayans are all so damn smart, why’re they all dead?!

    ;)

  • Mike Franklin

    “If the Mayans are all so damn smart, why’re they all dead?!”

    Well, they aren’t quite dead. Like the Romans, Greeks, Persians, Mongols and all those who once had great empires; they merely exist today under another name… another flag.

  • Michael

    Well, they aren’t quite dead. Like the Romans, Greeks, Persians, Mongols and all those who once had great empires; they merely exist today under another name… another flag.

    I was being facetious. :D

  • When I saw those big patches of all-caps text I thought “Oh no, MaryAnn’s site has been hacked!”

    Unless… what if it has? OMG… it’s all right there! Anagrams!

    1. “This is all true ignore it and die” = “Shit, it denaturalised religion!”

    2. Horton JFK Contact Nibiru = “Fuck Robin, join trot, natch.”

  • JoshB

    The whole thing is a collection of various stories and theories, with the one most likely being that our solar system is actually a binary system, ie: composed of two stars and not one.

    Actually, the other star in our solar system is named Lucifer. Lucifer was once the planet Jupiter, but nuclear fusion was triggered in its atmosphere by a godlike alien race in order to seed life on the moon Europa.

  • Gia

    Ow. MaryAnn, did you know that Diet Pepsi through the nose hurts?

  • Danny

    So many people talk about the NWO and all this as so evil, and blah blah blah. I think you’re all being fooled into being scared of the wrong people. If, (as the tin foil hat sporting bunch would have you beleive)The NWO, lead by the US wanted to take over the whole world, and make us all “one” actually wanted to round up Americans and put us all in camps blah blah blah they simply couldn’t do it. Visit your local Wal-Mart at Christmas, look at those people going ape-poo over the last Elmo toy on the shelf, and tell me honestly that you’re going to get those people to report to a camp, or get on a bus to go be brainwashed. Come on, really? The Army’s of the world are not enough to make the Wal-Mart shoppers of the world do anything they don’t wanna do.

    That aside, how exactly would a world run under the ideals of the USA be bad? Peace, freedom, and justice for all.

    The devils are those who would tell you our gov is out to kill us all. The real anti-christs are those who would have you think the whole planet is in some great peril of conspericy, and at any moment the new SS will appear at your door to take you to a death camp for watching YouTube. Come on people wake up!

    I even saw one report where Price Charles was the Anti-Christ and would head the NWO after it’s great big take over lol REALLY? The man can’t even tie his own shoes, and is a total dope, yet he’s the head of some coming new world order? Please.

  • @danny: “…your local Wal-Mart at Christmas, look at those people going ape-poo over the last Elmo toy on the shelf, and tell me honestly that you’re going to get those people to report to a camp, or get on a bus to go be brainwashed.”

    those people are *already* brainwashed! otherwise, they wouldn’t be convinced to crowd into the aisles of our current Overlord, WalMart, looking to buy an overpriced, cheaply made in china toy for their kid who will look at for all of 10 seconds!

  • those people are *already* brainwashed! otherwise, they wouldn’t be convinced to crowd into the aisles of our current Overlord, WalMart, looking to buy an overpriced, cheaply made in china toy for their kid who will look at for all of 10 seconds!

    While, of course, all those people lining up to buy I-phones are too smart to be brain-washed…

  • Hypocee

    I’m sorry, I’m not treating you as an enemy or a Believer here, Mike – my brain just threw up two snarks that I can’t keep inside today.

    PS – The most recent images of Jupiter (Google: Jupiter)

    Now I know how to find out what this “Jupiter” is!

    say that it was just smacked by some kind of asteroid or comet…

    yet again.

  • Mike Franklin

    @Hypocee-

    I appreciate the qualifications to your comments.

    In truth, adding things like pointers for more information, is a habit I got into with my own blog… and when commenting at sites like ATS. (No pointers on that one, lol)

    It was merely a courtesy and wasn’t to insinuate that anyone was beyond figuring it out.

    Cheers :)

  • aquila6

    Actually, the other star in our solar system is named Lucifer. Lucifer was once the planet Jupiter, but nuclear fusion was triggered in its atmosphere by a godlike alien race in order to seed life on the moon Europa.

    Josh, that doesn’t happen until next year. But good to see you read ACC’s books.

  • MaryAnn

    For anyone really interested in this subject beyond offering a guffaw or wrapping their head in tin foil, there are some good resources. But first, a basic outline…

    Oh, there’s always one. :->

    But I kid.

    I *loved* shit like *In Search Of…* and *Project Blue Book* as a kid. But these days I see how no one can keep their mouths shut about how Britney Spears doesn’t strap her kids into a carseat, and so how could anyone ever keep the secert of how the Jews and the blacks and the liberals are trying to force the New World Order down our throats?

  • Mike Franklin

    “I *loved* shit like *In Search Of…* and *Project Blue Book* as a kid.”

    Yeah, the web is a conspiracy theorist’s buffet, to be sure. But on the flipside of that, there’s no shortage of things to read when the daily newspaper is packed to the gills with stories about Britney an her unbelted progeny or somebody being labeled as a racist for hanging a noose as a Halloween decoration.

    Personally, I think it would all be a lot better if we stopped worrying about what everyone else was eating, drinking, smoking and driving and spend more time getting our own lives squared away :)

  • Rachel Masters

    Sorry this is extremely late, busy living life & never checked back until now. Nonetheless, though it’s old news, can’t help but speak in my defense….If you plan on being sarcastic, do a better job of it, your whole delivery was weak… and you couldn’t intelligently discredit my analysis. Movies and television are powerful mediums, so why not use it to convey hidden truths, no matter if it’s a child film. Ever heard of a little movie called Network? As far as conspiracy theories go, you should never throw the baby out with the bath water, nor make outrageous assumptions b/c u heard a supposed theory and, being small-minded, can do nothing but clump them all together. One could consider Plato’s “Allegory of the Cave” or Juvenal’s “Bread and Circuses” the conspiracy theories of their day. Looks to me like you’re among the many still in chains watching the shadows. Broaden your spectrum of awareness…then maybe we can have a real debate.

  • MaryAnn

    Show us some evidence for your “hidden truth,” Rachel, if you want to have a “real debate.”

  • Paul

    Actually, when it comes to secrets, I’m surprised at what becomes news and what doesn’t. Two examples:

    During an election year, I read a short article in the local paper that Bush planned on canceling the Kerry-Bush election because we were in a war, until some GOP senators went to the White House and told him not to. I waited for the out cry, the outrage, but nothing.

    A couple of years ago the CIA declassified memos proving the Vietnam War was really to protect our rubber imports. Again, just a little article in the newspaper. I waited for the out cry, the out rage, but nothing.

    The best kept secrets are things people don’t want to know.

  • Rachel Masters

    If you mean w/in the movie, I think I did and wasn’t long-winded about it. If you’re talking about in life…it’s not my job to hold your hand through that journey, b/c it is a journey and can’t be summed up in a comment post. You have to do your own homework, as your reader, Michael Franklin, has…but if I can give u advice, do it without the media malarky and propaganda. Don’t you know the media is privately owned by 5 corporations? Haven’t you heard JFK’s speech on secret societies? Don’t be complacent and full of what’s being spoon fed to you. The evidence is out there, you just have to be “daring” enough to carefully sift through and find those hidden truths. Read Plato, read Sun Tzu’s The Art of War, the late Bill Cooper. Put it all into the context of Plato’s cave allegory. I mean, unless that guy just didn’t know what he was talking about. But all in all, I already know you probably won’t. Since you’re so into movies, let me let u in on one: Idiocracy is NOT about the future…

  • Rachel Masters

    If you’re talking about w/in the movie, I already did and didn’t have to be long-winded about it. If you’re talking about in life…it’s not my job to hold your hand through that kind of journey, as it is a journey, and can’t be summed up in a comment post. You have to do your own homework, like your reader, Michael Franklin for instance…but if I can give u advice, do it without the media malarky and propaganda. Don’t you know the media is privately owned by 5 corporations? Haven’t you heard JFK’s speech on secret societies? Don’t be complacent and full of what’s being spoon fed to you. The evidence is out there, you just have to be “daring” enough to sift through it all. Read Plato, read Sun Tzu’s Art of War, the late Bill Cooper. Put it all into the perspective of The Cave. I mean, unless Plato just didn’t know what he was talking about. But all in all, I already know you probably won’t. Since you’re so into movies, I’ll let u in on one: Idiocracy is NOT about the future…

  • amanohyo

    Rachel, you sound a bit like Fox Mulder’s monologue on The Simpsons (or Tom Cruise on the Scientology promo). Sloooow. Doooowwn. Shut off the computer, turn off the TV, put down the books, and get some fresh air and vitamin D in your body. If you must read, consider some Spinoza or Thich Nhat Hanh.

    Do you find that you have difficulty communicating with others in your family and/or at work? Do you feel as though your thoughts are always racing and often have trouble concentrating on one thing for an extended period of time? Do you frequently feel defensive around others and feel that they are trying to influence or control you against your will?

    If so, there is a very real chance that you may be suffering from the early stages of schizophrenia. It will only become worse if you let it continue untreated. Please consider joining a support group and/or contacting a medical professional. If you cannot afford these steps, just talk to people who care about your health, face to face. Spending time on the internet will often make the situation worse. It’s a little too easy to find people that are eager to reinforce negative habits here (often in the interest of separating you from your money).

  • Rachel Masters

    Thank you for proving my point. Unlike you, I don’t even own a TV…it’s called an idiot box for a reason. I refuse to engage in continuous dialogue with morons. If anyone actually has something to say, I’m all ears.

  • Muzz

    Call me crazy, but I think there miiiight be some tiny difference between the big business contrivance in Network (which is an astoundingly insightful film. Kinda blew my mind how they had neo-liberalism’s number before it really took hold)
    and mythical planets that are supposedly going to hit us because some ancient civilisation with no technology thought so.
    Call me crazy.

  • Rachel Masters

    Yes, thank you, muzz, for pointing that out but I was suggesting that the CONTENT of Network illustrates TV as a powerful medium…but there are movies alluding to Nibiru…not Network, just to reinerate for muzz. A scene in Star Wars shows a binary star system, one red, one white, and 2010: The Year We Make Contact shows the same scene. You don’t even know what you’re watching, w/ your Eyes Wide Shut. The truth is, indeed, stranger than fiction. But let me tell you what you want to hear: There’s no such thing as Nibiru, everything is going great in the world and gov’ts, and the increase in climate change, volcanic activity, and earthquakes are due to global warming. You can go back to sleep now. I can sing you a lullaby if you like.

  • MaryAnn

    A scene in Star Wars shows a binary star system, 2010: The Year We Make Contact shows the same.

    My god, people, the evidence is right in front of your eyes, and you can’t see it!

  • Rachel Masters

    Geez lady…lay off the wine and maybe you’ll be able to think clearly. Like I said, the evidence is out there, you just have to find it…google caught it on their skycam-look it up on youtube. Do you ever open your ears to folklore? You know what…better yet, keep drinking…it’ll help your role as the blind leading the blind. Now I get it…I’m dealing with the brain dead.

  • You really know how to troll it, don’tcha. Still, I admire your dedication to this “Rachel Masters” persona you crafted. I suspect you are, in fact, some kid snickering at your own game.

    If you think we’re all so “brain-dead”, why are you still here? You aren’t going to find any converts. OH THAT’S RIGHT, the troll thing. My mistake.

  • Rachel Masters

    Here, for any truth seekers out there able to grasp the idea, look up the user NoStarPanel on youtube and watch his vids, especially the one asking if GoogleSky, WWT, and WikiSky are hiding something…and then download the programs to look for yourself. Knowledge is it’s own reward.

  • Bluejay

    Sigh…

    http://yowcrooks.wordpress.com/2008/11/30/youtube-user-nostarpanel-exposed/

    So let me get this straight:

    1) Evidence for an Earth-destroying planet: folklore, non-astronomer videos on YouTube, and imagery from Star Wars and Horton Hears a Who.

    2) Evidence against an Earth-destroying planet: Real astronomers who study this stuff don’t think so.

    I wonder where the truth lies…

  • Rachel Masters

    Ninja, there is absolutely nothing to snicker about. How I see it, for every 100 people who laugh what I’m saying out their minds, there may be 1 who heeds the message, which is worth the ridicule. Yehyehyeh, I know, “who does she think she is,” right? Typical.

  • Rachel Masters

    Ok, bluejay…there is currently NO havok being reaked on Earth currently? Do you live on this planet? Did not the article say that was a requirement for Nibiru to be in our inner solar system?…don’t you think highly paid astronomers and scientists are experiencing a conflict of interest? I’ll tell you one thing…it’s obvious where their truth lies. Only time will tell…here’s hoping you have the courage to wake up. Thank you, Paul, for beginning to question popular opinion, as it must be.

  • No. You missed the fact that I called you a very dedicated troll. I don’t believe that YOU believe this for a second. You’re just trying to get a reaction. And what better place than a site like this, filled with skeptical snarkers?

    There is no debating the fanatical. Go preach somewhere else.

  • Bluejay

    …don’t you think highly paid astronomers and scientists are experiencing a conflict of interest?

    What could possibly induce scientists to keep the imminent destruction of Earth a secret, and prevent people from doing something about it? Whenever anything has been a threat to the planet–the effects of nuclear war, CFCs, deforestation, global warming–scientists have been at the forefront of letting people know.

    Troll or not, a lot of people unfortunately do believe these arguments, and I think this widespread scientific illiteracy should be confronted wherever one meets it.

    I offer a last link here, and here end my thoughts on the matter.

  • Muzz

    I’m sure I read somewhere that binary star systems are one of the most common star formations in the universe. I don’t really see how putting them in movies is evidence of anything. I guess I’m just not interested in the truth.

    You don’t even need evil government astronomers to tell you about this thing. As is probably in a link someone has posted already; if there’s a planet out there that’s going to hit us in two years, on a clear night in the country you could see the bloody thing.
    It isn’t government astronomers who do all the cataloging of asteroids and stars and discover new nebulas and so on. It’s thousands upon thousands of backyard enthusiasts.
    I won’t have Network‘s good name besmirched with this garbage.

  • Rachel Masters

    ….I’m losing hope in humanity.

  • A couple of years ago the CIA declassified memos proving the Vietnam War was really to protect our rubber imports. Again, just a little article in the newspaper. I waited for the out cry, the out rage, but nothing.

    Perhaps those who cared were all burnt out with outrage back in the 1970s following the release of the Pentagon Papers, which made a similar point.

    Anyway, I suspect people on both sides of the political aisles all too often experience ideological tunnel vision.

    That said, insulting people who disagree with you isn’t exactly the most intelligent way to win over a hostile audience. It’s a stupid tactic when conservatives do it, it’s equally stupid when liberals do it and it seems especially stupid when Ms. Masters does it.

  • Paul

    Actually, if I was a scientist and knew the world was coming to an end, I would first ask myself, would telling the public improve the odds of something being done to stop it?

    For all the examples Bluejay provided, the best chance of solving the problem was to tell as many people as possible, otherwise special interests would hush up the problem. In some instances, special interests won anyway, but the best chance was public action.

    But if the problem was an astroid, and the government was willing to take direction without being pushed, I think avoiding public panic would be a good idea.

    But if the problem was unsolveable, then one might let people know so they can make peace with themselves. If Yellowstone was going to errupt in a week or a year, I’d damn well want to know.

  • Muzz

    posted by Rachel Masters

    ….I’m losing hope in humanity.

    Yeah me too. Every time I come across this stuff I picture what such mental effort and imagination behind these things might accomplish were it not making up balderdash about mythical planets coming to destroy the world. Then concocting symbolic revelations from the most disperate, circuitous “logic” imaginable, that can prove absolutely everything about it except produce the planet itself.
    I would think that part was key. It’s not god, it’s not jesus or ghosts or quantum bio healing water surpressed by big government. It’s a dirty great big rock in space. Don’t spend years studying every interpretation of JFK speeches, get a friggen telescope and show us.

    You’ll have to find a place that doesn’t use that special polarised Illuminati glass that hides all the aliens and mind control satellites though. All the mass produced ones use that. Try somewhere down in chinatown.

  • Rachel Masters

    Tonio, u may be right about that particular choice of action, but as I tried to refrain from returning the favor, alas, I couldn’t resist…call me human. Ppl who are at least open-minded & inclined to seek the truth may ponder what I’ve mentioned, which makes it all worth the ridicule. Ppl who are in staunch denial won’t change no matter what, so why not throw jabs as they throw them so freely at me? Paul, from what I know, it’s the passage of Nibiru, coming in a retrograde orbit from beneath the sun that will cause what’s termed a pole-shift, unlike an impact that would destroy the Earth’s biomass. There will be survivors, as was in the past. It’s detailed in the 20 Poems of Zhuge Liang, e.g.: from 10 there will remain 1 (in %). Among others, it’s known in Asian oral tradition, as well as Israel where ppl discuss it openly, (I know from personal experience.) Plato wrote about it in The Statesman (Politicus). I obviously don’t know if I’ll survive, but as we seem to agree: knowledge is it’s own reward.

  • Paul

    I wonder about humanity every time I read how many of the world’s problems could be solved if America gave up the money for such and such weapon program, or if the French donated their ice cream money.

  • Bluejay

    “Just when I thought I was out…” [/pacino]

    But if the problem was an astroid […] I think avoiding public panic would be a good idea.

    Actually, even then scientists respect the public enough to let them know. As a matter of fact, there is a real asteroid called Apophis which astronomers like Neil deGrasse Tyson are not afraid to tell the public about. Basically it’s projected to come very close to Earth in 2029; and depending on its trajectory at the time, we can calculate whether it will return to hit Earth in 2036. (But if you watch the follow-up clip to the Tyson video, you’ll hear about how there are already contingency plans being drawn up to deflect it.) So be prepared for the media, and Rachel, to freak out about that in 2029.

    The point is that such threats to Earth are scientifically observable (and by a lot of people, not just government scientists, as Muzz has pointed out); and further, they’re observable well enough in advance so that we can plan an appropriate response. If astronomers can detect and calculate the trajectory of a distant asteroid that won’t come close to Earth for another 19 years, you can bet they can detect a whole planet that’s supposedly going to hit us two years from now. They haven’t. It ain’t there. Relax.

    Obviously I’m not going to change Rachel’s mind, so I’ll simply say: Have fun with Nibiru, and see you in 2013. :-)

  • Bluejay

    I trust this will be old news to most readers on this site; but if it’s helpful to anyone, here’s a Baloney Detection Kit you can use to assess the Nibiru hypothesis and other extraordinary claims.

  • Rachel Masters

    I would hope so too, Paul. You obviously have the wisdom to see how history repeats itself, the powers that be seeing us as nothing more than cattle who can’t handle the truth, are too concerned with the Bradjolina saga, and eat up media propaganda like McDonald’s crap burgers…just so we can sleep at night…or day, either way, our somnambulism will get us nowhere. If you’re interested, look up the late Ian Lungold and Dr. Calleman. Bluejay, I have reason to believe it’ll be before 2012. But, u are definitely sleeping, and I hope you enjoy your daily serving, and never ask yourself what’s beyond the cave…what’s outside the matrix…whatever u wan’t to call it. From Babylon to Egypt to Rome to now, it’s all the same. Who do you think came up w/ the saying, “knowledge is power?” …it was not the common man. That’s why I appreciate movies that at least attempt to tell us something…but here we are, watching w/ our Eyes Wide Shut…hello? Look into it.

  • Der Bruno Stroszek

    Yeah, that must be it. If people don’t believe that a mythical planet is going to crash into the Earth because wars and famine and shit can somehow attract a fucking planet, and every astronomer in the world has somehow missed it but an ancient civilisation who couldn’t even predict their own genocide saw it coming, it must be because they’re not educated enough. I mean, this is a not-at-all-retarded theory.

  • Muzz

    Since this thing is completely undetectable by any normal means and you must be ‘enlightened’ or ‘open eyed’ to know it’s there, I’m content that it must lose all corporeality to the closed minded and therefore won’t affect anyone who is not ‘awakened’.

    Look out for new agers suddenly being vaporised for no apparent reason in the next year or so, while the rest of us are happily minding our own business.
    Every time somone gets hit with a phaser set on kill in Star Trek, they were trying to warn us about it.

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