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artisanal film reviews | by maryann johanson

caption this! image from ‘Sherlock Holmes’

Fun for Wednesdays! We look at an image from an upcoming movie and write snarky, witty, or otherwise entertaining captions for it. No prizes, it’s just for fun.

Sherlock Holmes is Guy Ritchie’s reinterpretation of the world’s first consulting detective — we’re promised lots of action. Like this, I guess:


Warner Bros. tells us:

In a dynamic new portrayal of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s most famous characters, “Sherlock Holmes” sends Holmes and his stalwart partner Watson on their latest challenge. Revealing fighting skills as lethal as his legendary intellect, Holmes will battle as never before to bring down a new nemesis and unravel a deadly plot that could destroy the country.

Oh my god, but Robert Downey Jr. is gonna be the hottest Holmes ever:

Sherlock Holmes will open in the U.S. on December 25, and in the U.K. on December 26.

Visit the film’s IMDB page or official site for more info.

Caption away… (the top photo, that is, not the bottom one, which is nice to look at but not particularly inspiring of snarkiness)



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  • JT

    The first rule of Fight Club is that there is nothing so important as trifles!

    Anyway, about the film – love the on-screen talent but I’m worried about Guy Ritchie behind the camera and the Zack Snyder-style ultra slo-mo. Please don’t let this film be ruined.

  • Hank Graham

    Downey’s going to be hot, I’ll grant you, but I’m not sure he’s going to be Holmes.

  • LaSargenta

    No, no! He’s supposed to be Moriarity!

  • LaSargenta

    Oh. Right…a caption…

    Where’s my opiate when I need it?

  • andres

    “ok, which one of you, lads, want a piece of my incredible big, hard, englishman… brain”

  • Brian

    Hoping to forestall inevitable controversy about the accuracy of his portrayal of Sherlock Holmes, Robert Downey Jr. this week subjected himself to a ritual whipping at the annual convention of the Sherlock Holmes Literary Society.

  • Mark

    Studio Executive: “Okay, here’s the pitch — KUNG FU SHERLOCK HOLMES”.

    Guy Ritchie: “Done!”.

  • amanohyo

    “I say Holmes, this so-called beauty pageant is an utter fiasco!”

    “My dear Watson, when you have eliminated the unfashionable, whatever remains, however uncomfortable, must be my swimsuit.”

  • Angela

    – “Oh, so I wasnt spose to drink blood….?? I thought it was an audition for the next Twilight film…”

    – Men in background, “What a bozo”

    *Plus, Rob is HOT in anything he does, and that goes for being a GENIOUS in EVERY role too!

  • Cyndy

    “Watson, bring me my snuffbox.”

  • Bill

    Riverdance II: The Beatdown

  • Drew Ryce

    “Damn, got sold a beat bag again (click!) Oh, hello, there it is.”

  • the rook

    beyond thunderdome! with acting!

  • Andy B

    Look, I’m dancing on Jeremy Bretts’ grave, shirtless!

  • Bree

    RDJ:

    “Uh…is this the right set for the ‘Six Second Abs’ commercial?”

  • Yes, I know, but did Basil Rathbone ever look this good with his shirt off?

  • I say Watson this pit fighting is quite elementary indeed.

  • Quick, Watson. The game’s afoot! Oh. Wait. I appear to be the game. Yoicks!

  • Martin

    “Where’s Ironman when you need him?”

    Oh, I’m just getting a Victorian Steampunk Ironman vision.

    I might be some time…

  • MaSch

    I’d rather caption the other picture:

    “The right actor. The wrong haircut.”

  • Victor Plenty

    My dear Watson… are you… are you as turned on as I am right now?

    (That’s for the first image of course. For the second:)

    Watson, remind me to compliment Professor Moriarty on this ingenious “hair gel” he’s concocted.

  • LaSargenta

    @ Brian: The Hungarian judge gives you a 10!

  • “I can’t believe I lost to a mouse…”

  • ^^ I think that was the Giant Rat of Sumatra, Chris, not a mouse.

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