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the film criticism aspect of cyber | by maryann johanson

trailer break: ‘Whiteout’

Take a break from work: watch a trailer…


Such a gloriously cheesy trailer! Forget 30 days of night — it’s about to be six months of night in Antarctica… and a killer is on the loose! And Kate Beckinsale takes showers in sexy steamy bathrooms! rawr!

I can almost hear the ominous voiceover ominously announcing: “In a world where it’s the bottom of the world, and they were out looking for meteor samples…” dum dum DUM!

Director Dominic Sena’s track record — Swordfish, Gone in 60 Seconds — does not give me much hope for this one. Neither does the participation of screenwriters Chad and Carey Hayes, who wrote the awful The Reaping and the worse House of Wax.

At least there’s a couple of cute guys to ogle: Alex O’Loughlin and Gabriel Macht. I bet they don’t get to take showers in sexy steamy bathrooms, though. Damn.

Remember: “Nature never intended for you to survive here.”

Whiteout opens in the U.S. and the U.K. on September 11.



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movie buzz | trailers
  • Jason

    I do like it when Kate Beckinsale is more “dressed down” as she is here. The shower scene does seem hilariously gratuitous though.

    This is the sort of movie that gets a “Skip It” from you every time.

  • bracyman

    You know if Macht or O’Laughlin *do* get a steamy shower scene, the steam will only end up waist high. Much like those L shaped sheets in movie hotel rooms.

  • Ken

    Neither does the participation of screenwriters Chad and Carey Hayes, who wrote the awful The Reaping and the worse House of Wax.

    Those would appear to have been original screenplays, whereas this is based on an Eisner Award–nominated comic by a fairly decent writer, so who knows.

  • stryker1121

    That shower scene seems really important to the plot. It’s not like they just stuck it in the trailer to draw 18-34 year old males or anything. Otherwise, this actually looks kind of fun. Reminds of that x-files episode..but I am sensing the potential for suck here as well. Call it a harmonic vibration in response to a shitload of CGI snow.

  • bats :[

    Kate…Kate? Remember “Much Ado About Nothing”? “Cold Comfort Farm”?
    No, I didn’t think so.

  • Mathias

    Yeah Stryker, this reminds me of X-Files too.

    The horrible second movie that is. :(

  • Mathias

    And by the way, what’s up with that location logs at :11 & 1:01? This isn’t the movie, just the trailer.

    Was the “Antartica” reaclly necessary? Did we really need to know name of the facility at this point?

    I don’t think i know of any other trailer that does this.

  • MaryAnn

    Those would appear to have been original screenplays, whereas this is based on an Eisner Award–nominated comic by a fairly decent writer, so who knows.

    *30 Days of Night* was based on a much-loved graphic novel, too, and the movie sucked.

  • Shadowen

    It’s weird, because it seems to be pointing to some cthonian horror under the ice, which a) makes me think it’s a ripoff of H.P. Lovecraft and b) I think I’ve seen a description of the original graphic novel, and it was simply, “Someone is sent to investigate the first murder in Antarctica.”

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