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the film criticism aspect of cyber | by maryann johanson

watch it: “So Your Cat Wants A Massage?”

Cat video Friday takes a strange turn:


So there are crazy cat ladies after all!

Not that there’s anything inherently weird about massaging your cat — no, seriously, I mean that — but there’s something not right about this chick. “Who’s the best cat in the United States?” Who limits their love geographically like that?



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  • Chuck

    She’s keeping another cat in Canada on the side.

  • the rook

    so what’s next? cat shiatsu?

  • Ah… um… I was… erp!

    *brain matter explodes onto the wall*

  • Grinebiter

    I used to do some of those moves when I had cats, without making a “mountain-laboureth-and-bringeth-forth-a-mouse” video. I reckon anyone into cats is going to discover them.

    But what’s with that slightly Pythonesque “Everything is Terrible” message at the end?

    so what’s next? cat shiatsu?

    No, pumping iron. Did you see the bit with the pecs?

  • Jurgan

    “A drooler is not someone who specializes in rings and watches.” [rimshot] It took me a minute to figure that out- the words don’t even sound that close. Stupid puns…

  • Kate

    Whoa. There are so many things wrong with this video, it’s hard to decide what’s worst: her singing? The constantly edited, disorienting jumps from real cat to stuffed tiger? The vaguely unsettling resemblance to a low-budget porno? The fact that everything she teaches here is what most cat owners would call “petting their cat”? I think in the end, however, I’m gonna have to go with her JACKET! Leopard print and tropical floral with shoulder pads. Whatthe?

  • I’d comment but my best friend the RMT prefers dogs…

  • Accounting Ninja

    @ Kate: What about the vaguely cultish beatific smile on her face the whole time? Brr!

    Oh, and from this cat person (I have 4), that cat was NOT loving that tail massage.

  • Victor Plenty

    Wondered if I was the only one who caught the murderous glint in the cat’s eyes when Loud Jacket Lady spent too much time on the tail massage.

    In fairness, the jumpy editing of this clip is probably the one thing the original makers can’t be blamed for. The “Everything Is Terrible” site displays an impressive talent for editing old videos to bring out their worst qualities in hilarious ways.

    Not that it was particularly challenging in this case.

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