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such a nasty woman | by maryann johanson

question of the day: How will McG bump ‘Terminator Salvation’ up to an R rating?

Oh, the way they gouge fans. Turns out that when Terminator Salvation is released on DVD this autumn, it’ll be rated R for “some violence and brief nudity.”

As I wrote recently about this very topic over at Film.com:

Yup, because brief nudity is what was needed to make this movie suck less.

As you may recall, the theatrical cut was rated PG-13 “for intense sequences of sci-fi violence and action, and language.” I find it interesting that what qualifies as “intense sequences of sci-fi violence and action” in a PG-13 flick is merely “some violence” in an R-rated one. (I think it’s safe to assume that not only did McG not cut any of the mayhem from his preferred version of the film, he probably restored some.)

So let’s speculate on what, precisely, McG could have done to this film to get an R rating… and what about that newer rating could possibly entice fanboys and fangirls to buy the film on DVD if they weren’t already going to do so.

How will McG bump Terminator Salvation up to an R rating?

(If you need a place to start, my Film.com piece features some speculation on possible Moon Bloodgood nekkidness…)

(If you have a suggestion for a QOTD, feel free to email me. Responses to this QOTD sent by email will be ignored; please post your responses here.)

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  • Dan

    They could show naked CGI Arnie’s meat n’ two veg?

  • If you recall, Moon Bloodgood was interviewed about this several times before the movie came out — they filmed a topless scene, but WB dropped it to get the PG-13.

    I’ve been a stalwart defender of this film, not so much as a “good” movie, but as a “not awful” movie… we’ll see if the second viewing reinforces or changes this. If I ever even get around to it (which is telling as well).

  • Dr Rocketscience

    Well, I don’t know about “brief nudity”, but some “scenes on pervasive nudity” couldn’t have hurt. That might at least distract from the otherwise pointlessness of the entire exercise. ~.^

    If the MPAA is in any way consistent – *cackle* *snorfle* *snerk* OK, sorry, but for the sake of argument – then the R for “violence” just means blood. I don’t recall anyone in the PG-13 version who wasn’t a robot bleeding.

    I think Dan’s got it tho. Aside from Moon Bloodgood stripping down, the obvious candidates are Sam Worthington’s ass, or CG-Arnold’s. Posible a shadowy homage shot of CG-Arnold’s CG-penis flopping in the CG-breeze (ála the original Terminator‘s scene at Griffth Observatory, the scene with Bill Paxton).

    But what exactly is the appeal of Moon Bloodgood, anyway? Is it that she’s indeterminately “ethnic” in a way that’s non-threatening to insecure, oversexed white nerd-boys? Frankly, given the choice, I’d prefer such a scene from Bryce Howard, but I’m all about the redheads. ~.^ Uh oh, better stop now, lest we inadvertently summon timwhatshisfutz to explain the inequity of boobs>wangs. >.

  • hdj

    They could add extented material that features lots of scenes that have added CG blood. I’ve seen some horror films were they add more computer blood to make the scenes more excessive.

    I’m not going to get the dvd if its just Moon Bloodgood, if she wonts to market her boobs she should just do playboy. Same goes for Bryce Howard, and like dr.rockscience was saying, if they both did playboy, I’d get the Bryce’s issue because redheads are smoking hot.

    Maybe Moon bloodgood and Bryce Howard have a three some with Sam Worthington. That would be worth picking up

  • doa766

    Moon bloodgood shot a topless scene that was cut

    an average movie is always better if it has a scene naked hot girl, that’s how it works, at least for guys

  • Accounting Ninja

    and what about that newer rating could possibly entice fanboys and fangirls to buy the film on DVD if they weren’t already going to do so.

    Let’s not kid ourselves, MAJ. When stuff like this is done, it’s rarely us fem-geeks they pander to.

    an average movie is always better if it has a scene naked hot girl, that’s how it works, at least for guys

    You know, it works the same for us with men. Well, depending on the movie I guess. Wolverine was infinitely more enjoyable because I got to ogle Jackman’s rippled bod. :)

  • Top Ten Ways McG can bump Terminator Salvation to R rating:

    10) Add More Naked Ewoks
    9) Get Tarantino to take over and re-direct the whole movie to have Terminators back in WWII: Bonus scene includes John Connor (Eli Roth) shooting Hitler in the face!
    8) Kyle Reese topless scene for all the ladies to enjoy
    7) Animated version of Christian Bale’s Role Rage at that hapless assistant director (Mike Judge! Mike Judge! Or the guys who do Venture Bros.)
    6) Naked Jar-Jar (NOOOOOOOOO cross that out!)
    5) Film a party scene where John Connor comes before a mob of young warriors to warn them that the Machines are coming to attack Zion, and the warriors respond by throwing a half-naked body-grinding rave
    4) Have a 20-minute dialog scene between Kyle Reese and Marcus Wright about pervy sexual activity between various comic book characters (scene written by Kevin Smith)
    3) Naked Darth Vader (NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO)
    2) Use the F-word like a bleeping comma you bleeps!

    And the Number One way to make Terminator Salvation rated R:

  • doa766

    it’s amazing that the film world is so phallocentric that if a movie displays a naked or semi naked guy on the male audience becomes uncomfortable and says “that’s so gay” (blue wang for example) but if there’s naked girl the female audience just rolls they’re eyes and patiently wait for the plot to resume without ever complaining about the movie being “lesbian”

  • We know for a fact up to 40 mins have been cut from the movie to make it PG-13. The director’s cut is speculated to be 20 mins longer. Maybe even less with all the lies fans have been fed.

    Yes we will have a more intimate scene (topless) overwatched by “pervert” resistance fighters.

    Like they said we’ve been watching you.

    Also cut was a scene where Marcus Wright (Sam Worthington) Impales a screwdriver through one of their shoulders. (possibly Chris Ashworth).

    At the start of the movie, Connor was made to feel of lesser importance. Earning his respect gradually in the movie. Scenes with Connor’s commanding officer (Terry Crews) Talking down to him swearing alot.

    A church or school with skeletons inside from the holocaust. A ground HK scene rolling over skulls. An alternative end. The burying of Marcus by Reese. “We bury our dead”.

    Arnold Schwarzenegger picks up a mini gun. (cut also). More Sarah Connor recording scenes.

    Hybrids who run Skynet central (they wear white suits).

    (All the above was filmed)

    Plus Serena (Helena Bonhem Carter was supposed to be the enemy at the end. She cured her cancer with research on Marcus – (Unfilmed)

    Orginal Ending, Marcus Kills John Connor, Reese, etc. Then the face of John Connor attached to Marcus after a massacre (to keep JC alive in the hearts of the resistance) – (unfilmed)

    Before they changed the script to allow a John Connor movie for Bale. (John Connor was orginally supposed to be Michael Ironside’s character. Who appears at the end on a submarine for 5 minutes in the original treatment.

    Also Skynet was meant to be saving humanity. Calculating we would destroy ourselves by such a year and then deciding to create hybrids.

    Basically James Cameron would not have done this.

    Come to our site for more info.

  • Accounting Ninja

    @ PaulW: LOL! Your post is filled with win. You like the Venture Brothers too? I’m a huge fan!

    @ doa766: ha, next time I see some chick’s tits in a movie in mixed comany, I’ll scoff and with dead-seriousness, say “Man, that is SO lesbian.”

    The nerdiness, it’s RAAAGING! :D

  • Paul

    I’ve been tempted to tell people that Moon Bloodgood is hot, but I can’t say the name without giggling. It reminds me of the stage name of a Lakota poet Luke Warmwater, but he wanted to be funny. But Moon having sex with Sam’s character is probably the rated R bit.

    The Venture Brothers are one of my guiltiest pleasures; probably the guiltiest of them all.

  • doa766

    @accounting ninja

    when guys see naked guys on movies they never think that it might be intended for the female audience, they just think it’s gay, guys think that chicks only like to see guys in stuff like twilight, you lnow, all romantic and wholesome

  • RogerBW

    Saw Moon Bloodgood as a recurring cop in Burn Notice – she wasn’t particularly impressive there, there was always a sense of “I am an actress playing this role” rather than “I am a cop”.

  • Der Bruno Stroszek

    Paul, that list is brilliant. I bet there’s someone out there on the Internet who would buy that because they want to see naked Jar-Jar. Rule 34, people!

  • Tim1974

    In reference to your comment about male’s complaining about male nudity as being gay and females never complaining about female nudity being lesbian, let’s reverse the scenario. Let’s say that films started to include an increasing number of lesbian characters and lesbian sex scenes. Let’s also say that female directors then decide to start showing female genitals in numerous films and some in close up and bordering on porno like male directors have done with male nudity. It may then cause females to react in the same manner.

  • Dr Rocketscience

    Tim1974 says…
    …blah blah blah…

    DAMMIT! I warned you people! Didn’t I warn you?!? Now we’re doomed! Doooooooooooooomed!!!!!

  • NorthernStar

    How can naked boobies equal an R rating, when people being cut to peices by machine gun fire do not?

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