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artisanal film reviews | by maryann johanson

the oh-no! DVD of the week: ‘Are We Living in the End Times?’

From the series God’s Promise, Satan’s Deception, of course:

A provocative, controversial, biblically based religious documentary featuring man on the street interviews in New Orleans during this year’s Mardi Gras festivities. Included in the provocative discussions, Mardi Gras party-goers fielded questions related to the RFID chip, The North American Union, and the prospect of living in a cashless society. Several religious authorities were also interviewed to give opinions on these subjects and their relation to major biblical prophecies. This documentary will provoke discussion among believers and non-believers alike.

I dunno about you, but I always get my end-times commentary from drunks on the street. I simply wouldn’t trust anyone else.
I love how the DVD cover features images of tornadoes and the EU flag in addition to the not unexpected mushroom cloud and carousel horses. Scary stuff.

Bonus sign of the apocalypse: Nearing Midnight, the online home of DVD author “Dr.” Alfred Adams, features flashing text. So 1999. I think that’s the intention, to remind surfers of the last time the world was ending.



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  • Jay

    We are living in the final days…

    That’s why I’ve been cloning Scarlett Johanssons…….

  • Grinebiter

    Ah, the EU flag….. When there were the same number of member states as horns on the Beast of the Apocalypse, that was proof positive, was it not? But then the EU kept growing. So where’s the scripture about a beast with 27 horns? I guess the Europeans are doing this expansion thing on purpose, to confuse the prophecies.

    Never mind the carousel horses, what’s with the Maple Leaf? They in league with South Park now?

  • Accounting Ninja

    Even scarier are the glowing Amazon reviews….even the one-star merely disagrees with the method of Rapture. Truly frightening, these corners of Amazon….

  • marshall

    I find it funny that people who bought the dvd also bought X-Men Origins: Wolverine. I guess he makes up a new version of the holy trinity? The Father, the Son, and the Holy-shit it’s Logan!

  • Paul

    Marshall – Oh, how I wish I’d heard you say that in person. LOL

    Considering that Jesus thought he was living in the End Times, taking prophecy for a grain of salt is charity.

  • @marshall I’m so glad I wasn’t drinking anything when I read that. LOL

  • What? You never heard of the Four Carousel Horsemen of the Apocalypse, MaryAnn?

    Or maybe it’s a reference to Logan’s Run.

    Which might explain why the crystal in my hand has been blinking all day…

  • rob

    I seen the movie it will shock you to see how much people do not know about current events and how it does relate to the Bible. Also the matching of world news clips was a major eye-opener.

    I think the makers of the film set out to do it in raw un-cut takes to show that there is no understanding as to what is going on, the governments of the world are moving to a world government, the RFID chip has gain more ground then you think. Don’t freak out when you hear the next time your at wal-mart….cash,card or hand……

  • bracyman

    Clearly I’m missing out on something here. What is evil about RFID chips? Are they supposed to be the new bar code tattoo?

  • bitchen frizzy

    Actually, yes. Many end-times believers have decided that implantable RFID chips will be “the mark of the beast” that Revelations says will be imposed on everyone.

    I don’t know what implantable RFID chips have to do with the inventory-tracking RFID chips used at Wal-Mart.

  • Accounting Ninja

    Personally I think it’s kind of cool to pay with your hand. Like, some cashier’ll be all “Cash, card or hand”, and I’ll do a super-cool ninja move with my hand to swipe it under the reader. I’ll also say something really awesome, like “Paid with the hand, mothafucka!!”

  • Personally I think it’s kind of cool to pay with your hand.

    And having a TV set you can’t ever turn off would be awesome!

    As would be having your own FBI file. And a secret cadre of black copters that follow you and only you!

    Cool!

  • Accounting Ninja

    And a secret cadre of black copters that follow you and only you!

    And how would this NOT be awesome? ;)

    As for the TV, nothing a pair of wire cutters won’t fix.

  • Guido

    “This documentary will provoke discussion among believers and non-believers alike.”

    Yeah…no.

  • Der Bruno Stroszek

    On the subject of RFID conspiracy theories, this is probably the definitive statement. (Warning – strong language, heavy metal music, killer lulz)

  • Paul

    Oh, it will prompt discussion, all right, just not the kind they think.

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