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such a nasty woman | by maryann johanson

bonus Halloween oh-no! DVD of the week: ‘I Bought a Vampire Motorcycle’

One more silly movie for your pumpkin-night fun…

When a Satanist biker is killed by a gang of Hells Angels, an evil spirit he was summoning possesses his old Norton Commando motorcycle. So when unsuspecting local courier Nick “Noddy” Oddie becomes the bike’s new owner, little does he know that it runs on blood and has a habit for killing Hells Angels and anyone else who gets in the way!

It’s like Christine, I guess, except about a motorcyle. Where are its fangs, though? Does it prefer human blood, or does it attack other motorcyles and suck the oil out of their innards? Inquiring minds wan to know.

Alert: Anthony Daniels — yes, C3PO in Star Wars Anthony Daniels — is in this as a priest.

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  • LaSargenta

    Can’t answer your questions. But, I can tell you that whatever fluid it wants, it would need a lot of it. That Wankel engine was notorious for high fuel consumption.

  • Bizarre fact: 19 years ago I attended the world premiere of this film at the Odeon cinema in New Street, Birmingham, England. Back then I was a student in the city and this was the closest I’d ever come to the glamourous world of film-making.

    The movie was made on a shoestring with Michael Elphick and Neil Morrissey, two of the regular cast of ‘Boon’ – an ITV drama series about a private detective in Birmingham who rides a motorbike (I’m not making this up).

    Local Hell’s Angels, who were extras in the film, turned out in force for the premiere. Elphick, Morrissey, Anthony Daniels and co-star Amanda Noar were there too. I seem to recall the Daniels character (a vicar who, in the only scene that’s relly stuck in my mind, emerges comically from his driveway riding a motorcycle and sidecar) getting his fingers blown off – or rather, I remember him bringing the fake fingers with him to the cinema. The rest of the film is a bit of a blur.

    Fast-forward to 2001. I’m a newspaper reporter interviewing the film critic Alan Frank, who’s just been elected to the board of the British Film Institute. We’re getting on like a house on fire and all of a sudden he says: “Have you ever seen a film called ‘I Bought a Vampire Motorcycle’?”

    “I was at the world premiere at the Odeon New Street in Birmingham.”

    “Really?” he says, amazed at the coincidence.

    It turns out he was heavily involved with the production – I think he might have been one of the major investors, although that too is something I’m struggling to recall.

    I know I enjoyed the film a lot, as I was part of a boisterous audience that was determined to do so. So maybe it would be an ‘oh yes!’ DVD in my case.

  • ProperDave! where have you been lately?

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