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artisanal film reviews | by maryann johanson

caption this! image from ‘The Slammin’ Salmon’

Fun for Wednesdays! We look at an image from an upcoming movie or TV show and write snarky, witty, or otherwise entertaining captions for it. No prizes, it’s just for fun.

It’s good to be the king:


Broken Lizard tells us about the film:

In the latest comedy from Broken Lizard, (the creators of Supertroopers and Beerfest) “Slammin” Cleon Salmon (Michael Clarke Duncan) is a former Heavyweight Champion of the World turned celebrity owner of a high end Miami seafood restaurant, The Slammin’ Salmon.

A terrifying bull of a man, Salmon uses fear to rule over his misfit waitstaff (Broken Lizard’s Jay Chandrasekhar, Kevin Heffernan, Steve Lemme, Paul Soter, Erik Stolhanske, as well as Cobie Smulders and April Bowlby) and on this particular night, he takes his bullying skills to a new level. In an effort to pay off a gambling debt to the Japanese Yakuza, Salmon sets up a contest to ‘inspire’ his waitstaff to sell more food than they ever have before: the top selling server wins $10,000 while the waiter in last place gets served with a broken rib sandwich—courtesy of the Champ himself.

Spurred on by greed and panic, the staff resort to backstabbing, bribery and indecent proposals in an attempt to upsell their patrons while simultaneously sabotaging their co-workers. As the hours pass, the dining room action becomes more frenzied as the contest escalates into a brawl for first place in order to win the money.

The Slammin’ Salmon opens in the U.S. on December 11; no U.K. release date has been announced.

Visit the film’s IMDB page or official site for more info.

Caption away…



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  • Oliver

    …And they all bent over for King Bum-a-lot, Lord of the gays…

  • Bill

    Horse: Fuck my life.

  • Brian

    Before his breakout role in The Green Mile, Michael Clarke Duncan played King Balthazar the Wise Man in the 1993 North Shore Presbyterian Church Nativity play. Critics hailed his natural delivery and powerful stage presence. Henry the Horse’s portrayal of the camel went sadly unmentioned.

  • Kenny

    With his saggy man-boobs, shapeless body and scaly skin, the Emperor really should have hired some straight talking advisers.

  • amanohyo

    “Genuflect, show some respect, down on one kneeee!”

    Or

    “This is almost as embarrassing as being in Daredevil.”

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