When will everyone learn that small household rodents and kitchen appliances simply do not mix?
I knew a hamster once, name of Vlad. As in Vlad the Impaler. Because even when you gave him a treat, he’d bite you. Of course, he was a hamster, so it was kinda hilarious, because it was like being nibbled to death. But the point is: Vlad never once kissed my hand. And I never felt any urge to scream and swoon in his presence. Granted, he did not sing pop songs, either. But still: Humans and chipmunks aren’t really compatible, so why are all those girls sighing over Alvin?