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artisanal film reviews | by maryann johanson

because karma really is a bitch

As a result of my review of The Spy Next Door, reader SD SD informs me via email:

You are now officially cursed for using karma in your movie reviews. It doesn’t matter if you believe or don’t believe in curses. Anything bad that happens to you in your life you will would wonder what you did to deserve it and you will learn the hard way it is because of the type of person you are. Bad movie reviews are fine, but when you use curses, you will be cursed tripled times over back at you. There is no way of removing this curse, so you will have to live with it. Think twice next time or you will be cursed again the same way. Too bad for you. It’s rare there is a woman movie critic. Just too bad you are that type of person.

Or because the gods really are crazy.

This has been your WTF Thought for the Day.



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  • Brian

    So, “SD” stands for “Superstitious Douchebag?”

  • Orangutan

    I get the feeling that SD doesn’t really know how karma works…

  • Knightgee

    A curse being returned at triple? That doesn’t sound like karma, that sounds like a Wiccan belief. This person needs to get there superstitious dogma straight.

  • Keith

    And if this cursing stuff is true, didn’t the person to wrote this email just curse themselves three times as bad? Oops, hehe.

  • Cyndy

    After yesterday’s depressing thoughts, thanks for today’s laugh.

  • Keith

    You’re right, Knightgee, the tripling effect is Wiccan ideology. Thought about commenting on that earlier.

  • Paul

    Having dated a Wiccan and been friends with two high priestesses (which is doesn’t mean very much in that organizationally challenged religion), I am fairly certain that you can only get that triple whammy back at you if you actually curse someone. Now, I am fairly certain that elsewhere on this website, MA has cursed people in a written fashion, but in the case of this particular movie, she did not curse JC, but wondered what JC had done to deserve bad karma (I’d vote for cheating on his wife, but that sort of thing happens so often it’s amazing the Big Quake hasn’t hit CA already). I also seem to recall that MA would actually have to cast a spell or do something bad to JC. Otherwise, if all she says is “Damn you” than having SD and two other people say “Damn you” back at her would be, I think, enough to fulfill the karmic rules.

  • Der Bruno Stroszek

    I’ll say something for SD – he or she is striking a blow for equality by demolishing the racist stereotype that all Buddhists aren’t wankers.

  • Orangutan

    I doubt he’s Buddhist (not that there aren’t Buddhist-wankers out there). Based on that paragraph, s/he seems to think that the use of the word karma is a curse, and s/he keeps referring to what appears to be the Threefold Law. Like several others, I’m getting way more of a New Age/Wiccan vibe off this person.

  • Kenny

    I wouldn’t say there’s a stereotype about Buddhists being wanker free… after all, they were the ones who first came up with the idea of smashing airplanes into things as a means of getting their point across.

    On a side note.. I found it ironic that you described SD SD a reader, as, from the text of the email, I feel that reading isn’t his/her strong suit.

  • stryker1121

    So Pat Robertson’s a fan of the site. Who knew?

  • actually, if you’re referring to the so-called kamikaze pilots, it was more likely they were shinto.

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