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artisanal film reviews | by maryann johanson

caption this! image from ‘The Crazies’

Fun for Wednesdays! We look at an image from an upcoming movie or TV show and write snarky, witty, or otherwise entertaining captions for it. No prizes, it’s just for fun.

Fill ’er, sir?:


Overture Films tells us about the movie:

Imagine living in a small town where everything is safe and happy…until suddenly it isn’t. Imagine your friends and neighbors going quickly and horrifically insane. In a terrifying tale of the “American Dream” gone horribly wrong, four friends find themselves trapped in their hometown in The Crazies, a reinvention of the George Romero classic directed by Breck Eisner from a screenplay by Ray Wright (Pulse, Case 39) and Scott Kosar (The Amityville Horror, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre).

David Dutten (Timothy Olyphant) is sheriff of Ogden Marsh, a picture-perfect American town with happy, law-abiding citizens. But one night, one of them comes to a school baseball game with a loaded shotgun, ready to kill. Another man burns down his own house…after locking his wife and young son in a closet inside. Within days, the town has transformed into a sickening asylum; people who days ago lived quiet, unremarkable lives have now become depraved, blood-thirsty killers, hiding in the darkness with guns and knives. Sheriff Dutten tries to make sense of what’s happening as the horrific, nonsensical violence escalates. Something is infecting the citizens of Ogden Marsh…with insanity.

The Crazies opens in the U.S., Canada, and the U.K. on February 26.

Visit The CraziesIMDB page or official site for more info. Or watch the trailer here at FlickFilosopher.com.

Caption away…



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easter eggs
  • “Fine – You can have your Squeegee back!”

  • Hank Graham

    “So you’re saying you don’t give green stamps?”

  • amanohyo

    “Killer hoody, man! The orange really brings out your eye.”
    (feel free to replace the comma with a hyphen)

    “If you look to your left, you’ll see a male Zombo Habilis, the first species of zombie to make use of primitive tools.”

    “Members of our new high deductable health insurance plan are encouraged to perform minor surgical procedures on themselves.”

    “Suspect is hatless, repeat, hatless.”

  • funWithHeadlines

    “What exactly do you mean by ‘check MY oil?'”

  • Cyndy

    “You gotta purdy mouth.”

  • JSW

    “Excuse me sir, but do you have any Grey Poupon?”

  • ZACK

    ANAL SEX you gonna gets it

  • Kenny

    COPS! It’s what’s for dinner!

  • Spaniard

    Will you go to the prom with me?

  • Paul

    You’re way too obvious. You must be a good guy.

  • Dokeo

    Trust the Gorton’s Fisherman!

  • Asking for directions to Miller’s Grove? Sure, buddy, just take a left over at BRAAAAAIIINNNNSSSSSS…

  • headneep

    “No thanks. I don’t want my windshield scraped off.”

  • Kevin

    “Do you love me?”
    “Well, I don’t rightly know, sir, I–”
    “Make an assessment!”

  • CB

    ^
    |
    +— Mighty Boosh quotes for the win.

  • TommyB

    1. “What do you mean, you don’t care about organ donor cards?”

    2. “A manicure? No thanks, I just had one!”

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