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the film criticism aspect of cyber | by maryann johanson

because Kate Winslet’s heart going on is way cooler in 3D

I’m a big fan of James Cameron, but he has to be stopped. If the awesome success of Avatar truly is going to his head like this, an intervention is called for:

Bolstered by his 3-D box office record-breaker “Avatar,” the Oscar-winning director plans to sail “Titanic” again, confirming he will rerelease the 1997 blockbuster using the magic of his new favorite technology, 3-D.

“We’re targeting spring of 2012 for the release (of a 3-D version of ‘Titanic’), which is the 100-year anniversary of the sailing of the ship,” Cameron told USA Today.

Titanic in 3D? I can’t wait to see Kate Winslet’s spittle flying out at me on its way to Billy Zane’s face. Oh, wait: yes, I can.

This has been your WTF Thought for the Day.



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  • Keith

    Now if they can just rig the theaters to spray some water on the audience too…

  • Somehow I doubt that it will be Ms. Winslet’s heart most straight male movie-goers will be thinking of when they buy tickets for this project…

  • Michael

    Like St. Patrick’s Day is for most people who like to drink, so 3D is for studios who want to re-release a previous blockbuster in theaters to make more money. It’s just an excuse.

    And that’s fine. You want to go out and get sloshed? Go right ahead and have fun, no matter what day it is. You want to give audiences the chance to see a movie they like on the big screen again? Go nuts! Don’t worry about the gimmicks and excuses. Just do it.

  • Josh C.

    Having been only seven when the film came out, Titanic essentially defined “film” in my childhood. Even with the cursing, nudity, bloodshed, extreme running time, etc., I wore out my parents’ VHS (usually with my parents in the room, of course). The film even propelled this nerd into a love for any Titanic-related nonfiction book I could find.

    In short, if James Cameron wants to re-release the film in 3-D, I’ll be first in line at the local cineplex, come rain or come shine.

  • Isobel

    Will this film never die? I really really really don’t like it and now it’s being released again. Sigh. Oh well, as long as no-one tries to make me go and see it it’s all good.

  • Brian

    @Isobel: Well, I think compulsory attendance might just be the only way that Cameron films could possibly make more money . . . but unless there is compulsory attendance, I’m not gonna be rushing to see it either.

  • Kate

    I’m with Josh C. on this one. This was one of the first defining films in my life (I was 10 in ’97) and I will go see it in 3D the day it comes out.

    MaryAnn, are you objecting to the blatant money-grubbing aspect of this rerelease? Is it enough to make you not want to see a film that you like/love? (Just curious.)

  • Jurgan

    I think she’s objecting to the fact that 3-D will not in any way enhance the experience. Avatar’s 3-D worked because it was integral to the film. What about Titanic would be better in 3-D, though? I can’t see that it will improve the movie.

  • JEREMY

    For those of you who have issues about the rerelease of that boat movie James Cameron did,let me say three words: BOYCOTT!!! BOYCOTT!!! BOYCOTT!!! Just stay home and watch your movies in the privacy of YOUR OWN BIG SCREEN! WHO’S WITH ME ON THIS??? LET ME HEAR FROM YOU!!!

  • Left_Wing_Fox

    You know, I’m a relatively staunch defender of 3d as a legitimate fim technology, but this strikes me as awful.

    It’s no different than Ted Turner’s “colorized” films. Films in black and white were MADE for black and white. Avatar showed what 3d could be for films MADE for 3d. Going back and slapping on 3d to a 2d film is just going to cheapen both the 3d technology and the film it’s applied to.

  • Kate

    I see your point, Jurgan.

  • Dr. Rocketscience

    Now wait just a gorram second.

    Hasn’t James Cameron himself been all up in Hollywood’s shit about how you can’t just take a regular movie and make it 3D? That this kind of 3D sucks? That a 3D movie has to be conceived in 3D, shot in 3D, be completely immersed in the requirements of 3D (apparently to the exclusion of other such trivialities as, I dunno, storytelling).

    Y’know what? Fuck James Cameron. King of the world, my ass.

  • aquila6

    Dr. Rocketscience is correct. Without actually having filmed the original movie in 3-D, with twin lenses capturing footage a few inches apart from each other, the “3-D” in this new Titanic will be completely

    Ersatz.
    Artificial.
    Imagined.
    FAKE.

    Pass.

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