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artisanal film reviews | by maryann johanson

trailer break: ‘The Last Song’

Take a break from work: watch a trailer…


Miley Cyrus and Nicholas Sparks? It’s a match made in an overly sweet diabetic coma! Is the rich Florida boyfriend dying of cancer? Is he about to go off to war? I’m trying to think of a situation that could be milked for more sappiness, but nothing’s coming to mind.

At least there will be some Greg Kinnear to distract me.

The Last Song opens in the U.S. and Canada on March 31; no U.K. release date has been announced.



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movie buzz | trailers
  • Brian

    Must be a bitch to work around the child labor rules to shoot a movie starring an underage performer.

    Are there pervy guys awaiting her 18th birthday the way they drooled over the Olsen twins a few years back? I shudder to think, but you know they’ve got to be out there.

  • Nathan F

    Must be a bitch to work around the child labor rules to shoot a movie starring an underage performer.

    You’re not serious, are you? Miley Cyrus is hardly the first person under 18 to have a lead role.

  • markyd

    I was appalled from the first commercial. Like Brian, I also thought about how young she was. This looks like an adult love story with Miley interjected into it simply for the cash grab. Creepy.
    Nathan, it’s not a lead role. It’s about a lead role in a LOVE story. She just seems awful young to be in this type of movie.

  • MaryAnn

    Hollywood child-labor laws get less restrictive the older a child gets. I doubt it’s much of an issue once an actor is 15 or 16.

  • MaryAnn

    And anyway, wait: You’re all objecting to a teenage love story? I mean, the trailer makes me want to vomit, but not out of any sense that there’s anything inappropriate, in a legal or moral sense, about the relationship depicted. I just expect it will be overwhelmingly sentimental.

  • markyd

    I guess it’s creepy to me because it’s not a Disney movie, or a silly rom-com. It appears to be a saptastic lovefest. She just seems too young yet to be in such a movie. I won’t go anywhere near it, so I suppose it really doesn’t matter. Moving on…

  • bitchen frizzy

    These comments baffle me. Cyrus was sixteen during filming, and she plays a teenager. So what?

    Better not ever watch Taxi Driver. It’ll blow your mind.

  • Psyclone

    Wait; cancer, war, Nicolas Sparks…

    Didn’t this movie already come out a few months ago? Wasn’t it called “Dear John”? Hell, it’s playing in theaters in my country RIGHT NOW!

    [Insert boilerplate comment on Hollywood’s lack of originality and cookie cutter movies]

  • Brian

    Oh, no, I do not find anything objectionable about Ms. Cyrus being in this film, or anything else about it. If anything, that’s what Nicholas Sparks seems to be all about: absolutely inoffensive in every way.

    I was just thinking out loud about the child labor law thing, and it was not one of my more profound or well-developed thoughts. I know they’ve got very well-defined procedures for such things. No, the only thing I was grossed out about is the completely independent thought that there must be pervy guys out there counting down to her 18th.

    And I love Taxi Driver. :-/

  • vballgirl

    Okay now… I have no objections of Miley Cyrus being in this movie. Even if she is 16 during filming… who cares. It is a great movie and if you don’t like it then fine don’t watch it but don’t hate Miley, anyone else in or behind the scenes in this movie. Yes the law may say something but she is the only teenage girl that I would personally put in this movie to have that lead role. So who cares about that… she is amazing as well as all the other members are amazing!!! This is the best movie ever!!!

  • Alli

    markyd, a teen girl being in a love story creeps you out? Weird. Whatever you do then, avoid video of her performance at the Teen Choice awards. On a side note, that’s also her real-life boyfriend in the movie with her.

  • markyd

    What the hell did I get myself into? lol. I’ll never ever watch this, so I really don’t know why I am even commenting. I just can’t stand manufactured crap, and that’s exactly what this is. No one cares about telling a good story. It’s about sticking Miley into a movie to sell tickets to gullible girls. That’s it.
    I know most movies are made in a similar manner, but this just reeks of it.
    Plus, I can’t stand the whole actress/musician/I can do ANYthing! thing going on. Pick one thing and stick to it, damnit.

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