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artisanal film reviews | by maryann johanson

deep thought

I have no idea what a Justin Bieber is.



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  • LaSargenta

    It is a sweet beer in an expensive designer bottle. Not served at Mona’s. (That’s my local.)

  • Michael

    I think it’s a 13 year old kid whom Disney has declared a heart throb for some reason.

    So, kinda creepy.

  • e

    It’s a heavily marketed vessel plucked from the depths of youtube, that record executives, agents, and promoters use to collect large amounts of cash from tween/teen girls.

  • Drave

    I don’t know either, but there’s a whole photo blog devoted to lesbians who resemble him.

    http://lesbianswholooklikejustinbieber.tumblr.com/

  • MaryAnn

    I think it’s a 13 year old kid whom Disney has declared a heart throb for some reason.

    I suspect Disney is planning a breeding program to repopulate the Earth, after Stephen Hawking’s aliens invade and kill us. They’re packing Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus into cryogenic capsules, and the human race will be reborn adorable and singing.

    Be very afraid.

  • AlsoKT

    I do, vaguely, partly because I have a 14 year old sister, and partly because I totally listen to Top 40 radio when I’m driving. And partly because my country is endlessly amused that we produced such an animal.

    And partly because I seem to be adblocking his naked torso a lot lately. Ew.

  • When he was on SNL a few weeks back, my wife and I thought it was a some sort of porn name (Just in beaver), then we saw the kid and corrected ourselves…

  • Michael

    I suspect Disney is planning a breeding program to repopulate the Earth, after Stephen Hawking’s aliens invade and kill us. They’re packing Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus into cryogenic capsules, and the human race will be reborn adorable and singing.

    Be very afraid.

    It’s in REVELATIONS, people!!
    [/Kent Brockman]

  • Dustin

    Disney Lab Unveils Its Latest Line of Genetically Engineered Child Stars:

    http://www.theonion.com/video/disney-lab-unveils-its-latest-line-of-genetically,14268/

  • waiting for bieber: twitter users desperately trying to get Justin Bieber to follow them

    http://waitingforbieber.com/

    (hilarious!)

    by the creator of “a velociraptor is stalking michael buble” — http://bubleraptor.tumblr.com/

  • markyd

    So the last name is pronounced BEEber, no BIber? And now I know what this kid looks like thanks to Newbs. I just heard of the latest Disney product recently on FB. One of those, “can this piece of Lint get more fans than Justin Beiber” things.
    It’s all so…creepy.

  • Muzz

    I’m telling you; the only requirements for hordes of screaming barely-teen girls these days:

    Publicity + Eyebrows.

    That’s the whole show. Never thought I’d be wanting Zac Efron mania back. At least he seems to know what he’s doing. But I guess his life crystal is flashing away by now and Michael York is on his case.

  • t6

    I get tired at how regular it is for people to dismiss and denigrate the taste of pre-teen and teen girls, as well as deny any agency they might have, while I have never heard a similar dismissal and denigration of pre-teen and teen boys.

    When the 13 year olds boys loved Nirvana no one bats an eye. When the 13 year olds loved Madonna all of a sudden this is evidence the girls have no taste and are just helpless thralls to corporate marketing.

    Very tiresome and sexist.

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