I am a promising movie reviewer!
I was so excited to learn this, via a shitty spam comment that I just deleted:
We’ve browsed through your reviews and thought that they are really original and interesting! We would like to invite you to publish your reviews on [a site with no traffic that obviously no one reads], which provides an alternative platform for promising movie reviewers to showcase their talents. In addition, you’ll find a growing community of bloggers who share the same passion for excellent movies! Based on the merit of your reviews, we intend to offer you exclusive publishing privileges on our website!
[a site with no traffic that obviously no one reads] Team
admin@[a site with no traffic that obviously no one reads].com
Exclusive publishing privileges? An alternative platform? I feel so honored and humbled by this invitation, and I’d like to thank my mom, and Jesus, and my kindergarten teacher, and Jesus, and the barista who made that awesome caramel latte for me yesterday at Starbucks, and Jesus.
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