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artisanal film reviews | by maryann johanson

female gazing at: Hugh Jackman


I once started a review of a movie like this:

Hugh Jackman.

Hugh Jackman? Hugh Jackman, Hugh Jackman Hugh Jackman Hugh Jackman Hugh Jackman. Hugh Jackman Hugh Jackman Hugh Jackman — Hugh Jackman Hugh Jackman Hugh Jackman Hugh Jackman. (Hugh Jackman Hugh Jackman.) Hugh Jackman.

Because that is all I need to know about a movie to know that it’s worth seeing. Even if it’s Kate & Leopold, which is absolutely awful, except for the presence of Hugh Jackman.

Lovely Hugh Jackman, who may, with his portrayal of Wolverine in the first X-Men movie, actually be responsible for the boom in comic-book movies over the past 10 years:

*sigh*

I’m posting pictures like these every weekday, of a man who is attractive and desirable, because I like to look, dammit — and because the female gaze doesn’t have to be such serious business.

(If you have a suggestion for someone we should female-gaze at, feel free to email me with a name or a link to a particular photo.)



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  • Orangutan

    Because that is all I need to know about a movie to know that it’s worth seeing.

    In that case, I REALLY can’t wait to see what you think of Real Steel. :D
    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0433035/

  • History of Bubbles

    That’s it. Shut it down.

    We have a winner.

    (I’m kidding, of course. Please don’t stop for anything.)

  • Lisa

    YES! YES! YES! YES! YES ! YES!

    I am liking the new multi picture femal gazing – cos one just ain’t enough

  • Janet

    Just put a new picture of him, him with his daughter, him with his son, him with the whole family, him. It will make turning on the computer a pleasure every morning.

  • Tammy

    MAJ, I agree with your reasoning. The mere presence of His Hughness in any movie is sufficient reason, for me, to watch it, even something as otherwise unwatchable as ‘Van Helsing’!

    I used to have copies on tape of some of his earliest Aussie flicks, like ‘Erskinville Kings’ and ‘Paperback Hero’. He was brilliant in all of them, but utterly delightful in ‘PBH’ as the truck-driver/romance writer who used his gal-pal’s name as his nom-de-plume (without permission) — and then had to deal with a best-seller on his hands! Charming flick, LOVELY performance.

    And have you seen him as Curly in ‘Oklahoma!’? OUTSTANDING! Definitely worth the three hours. I almost had the chance to see him on Broadway, in ‘The Boy from Oz’, but the plans fell through and I never got to go.

    I have a friend in the industry who’s run into him several times (though she’s never worked on anything he was in, unfortunately), who says he’s just about the nicest, sweetest, friendliest, warmest guy you’d ever want to meet.

    The man never ceases to amaze me. He’s gorgeous; he’s funny; he’s sex-on-a-stick handsome; he’s intelligent; he’s witty; he can sing; he can dance; he can act (on stage, TV and big-screen, and he’s won several awards for his performing); he’s married to a woman several years older than he is (and with a REAL body with real padding and curves, not some anorexic model) and has been for several years and still very obviously adores her; he’s not just a father, but a DADDY who loves spending time with his kids and isn’t afraid to look silly for them; and he’s not afraid to act naked! WOOHOO! He’s pretty much perfect, and I can’t get enough of him!

  • Lisa

    yeah Hugh has a got a nice set -up

    I liked Paperback Hero but Van Helsing? Let’s not take our gazing that far!

  • Just put a new picture of him, him with his daughter, him with his son, him with the whole family, him. It will make turning on the computer a pleasure every morning.

    may i just say… no. please do not clutter up my happy gazing of this masculine ideal with wife, children, or other… except maybe a pussycat. or a dog. or a bunny. but no wife and kids. this is for fantasy gazing.

  • Tammy

    @lisa: You said, “I liked Paperback Hero but Van Helsing? Let’s not take our gazing that far!”

    But … but … Hugh in that leather get-up, and Hugh shirtless, and Hugh looking rough and hot and gorgeous, and Hugh suffering (hurt/comfort, y’know), and who cares about the rest of the ridiculous, stilly, poorly-written stuff going on, anyway, when there’s sexy, gorgeous, beautiful HUGH to look at?!

    With this Female Gazing section getting such a great start, I think I’ll buy stock in a panty-liner company.

  • Joy

    Gerard Butler, please

  • Mimi

    Oh hell yes.

  • Lisa

    Gerard Butler with a bag over his head – The Ugly Truth people!

    Van Helsing is a terrible film – I have standards!

    Just cos a man is pretty, does not mean I have to watch them in bad films. I can even, if I want to, hold said films against them for life!

  • Isobel

    Oh hell yes. This has just made my morning! He may quite possibly be the sexiest man on the face of the planet. And yes, I will watch anything with him in it (even Val Helsing), because it’s Hugh Jackman – how can you not?

  • AlsoKT

    Two things:

    1) When AUSTRALIA came out, I’d spent much of the preceding year trying to pin down my sexual orientation. I knew I was attracted to women, but did I actually like men too, or was that just latent cultural programming. . .

    And then Hugh Jackman dumped a bucket of water over his naked torso. And it turns out I’m bi. So thank you, Hugh. That was really, um, helpful. Yes.

    2) I see your VAN HELSING and raise you VIVA LAUGHLIN.

  • Althea

    oooooooooooooooooooooo………………
    mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm………………
    ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh………………

  • LaSargenta

    Even if it’s Kate & Leopold, which is absolutely awful, except for the presence of Hugh Jackman.

    Now hang on a minute there. It was a HORRIBLE movie…but I watched it for Liev Schreiber. :-)

  • bats :[

    I agree with Lisa’s assessment with truly lousy films and actors who I like that appear in them. Rufus Sewell (yeah, he’s not necessarily a classic beauty (oh, yes he is!), but he’s definitely got an interesting face) has been in some stinkers that I cannot make myself watch.

    MaryAnn, I looked around online and can’t find it, but an April or May issue of Rolling Stone this year has a couple of wonderful photos of Robert Downey, Jr. (particularly one in a wet t-shirt…not that that’s a big draw…).

  • Cate

    YES

    Van Helsing? I don’t know how or why, but the people responsible ought to be shot, because he was not hot in that movie at all. The man is ridiculously hot, even while doing high kicks in a chorus line on stage at the Tonys! It takes a lot of work to make him NOT hot.

  • I_Sell_Books

    Oh HELL YEAH.

    Also, Oklahoma? Seriously, rent it if you can – he’s fantastic in it (also, it’s not the uber-perky musical it appears to be on the surface. There’s some dark stuff in there…)

  • I_Sell_Books

    @Tammy: not even Hugh can save Van Helsing.

    @Joy: mm, Gerard Butler.

    @Lisa: have you not seen Gerard in Dear Frankie? You have to admit that 300 had the most ridiculously fit men to ever appear in a movie…

  • Tammy

    @I_Sell_Books: Oooooh, Gerry in ‘Dear Frankie’, yes, please! That kiss … mmmmmm, yes. I had that scene on ‘loop’ on my laptop for about twenty minutes once. Why, yes, I was in my bunk, why do you ask?

    And I’ll watch ‘Van Helsing’ anytime, for two very good reasons. One, Hugh (d’oh). Two, to point and laugh. I find it absolutely hilarious, especially the over-the-top death scenes and the bad writing. I consider it a blessing that I have the sense of humor that I do, because that means I can enjoy the lousy movies that my idols have made. And regardless of the quality of the material he’s given (and Van Helsing *was* abysmal), Hugh’s never turned in a bad performance. A beautiful, brilliant actor pouring his best into a piece of dreck is still a thing of beauty to me. He’s never phoned it in.

  • Christine

    I have never been so attracted to a man in jeans as I am to Hugh in X-Men. I believe I went into a fugue state in the theatre.

  • Lisa

    Van Helsing is a terrible film.

    I couldn’t make it thru 300 – I thought if I were a 14 year old boy I would love this. I could not stick it out. You should know that I’d watch anything just not these 2 films!

    Gerry’s face in repose is handsome – it’s just when he starts moving and talking, it puts me off. I don’t want to cast aspersions on anyone else’s taste though. We’re all different.

  • Hugh Jackman. Indeed! :) One of the hottest men EVER!

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