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artisanal film reviews | by maryann johanson

‘Doctor Who’ thing of the day: What if Disney got their mousy mitts on the Doctor?

My beef with Disney is by now well known, but it’s nothing to what it would be were The Mouse to take on my baby, Doctor Who. Then, we’re talking total war.

io9 commenter Cristoval created a few concepts for what a Disney Doctor Who would look like (featured recently at io9). For one — brace yourself — Disney Daleks:

They remind me of Vincent the robot from The Black Hole.

And then there’s the poster for a Disney Doctor Who:

Yesterday’s rumor about Johnny Depp being cast in an American Doctor Who movie invariably inspires nightmares about a Charlie and the Chocolate Factory-esque perversion of my beloved Doctor. Which I can’t bear to think about.

(If you stumble across a cool Doctor Who thing, feel free to email me with a link.)



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  • Keith

    Hey, Disney! Mouse ears on the Doctor? You saw what happened to the fez…

  • Matthew

    This reminds me of 90s Doctor Who projects that actually got as far as the planning stage: the Amblin series for CBS and the Nelvana cartoon version.

  • Mo

    Hmm… I remember seeing the poster somewhere a while ago… maybe that’s where those silly Depp rumors started.

    That would be hilarious if it wasn’t so terrifying.

  • Ide Cyan

    Keanu Reeves was already in a movie that had a Tardis-inspired American telephone booth time machine.

  • Jim

    I, Doctor Who fan for 32+ years declare publicly, I will not go to see it (any American Doctor Who film- Johnny Depp or not) nor will I spend one penny toward the project, it’s promotion or its profit.

  • Liz

    This is truly the stuff of nightmares.

  • NickT

    Ctrl Alt Del has a different take on what Hollywood might do to the Doctor. If anything, it’s more horrifying.

  • Paul

    Actually, if we were really, really lucky, a Disney Doctor Who would be like that musical Buffy episode. Hey, I can hope.

  • Actually, the Disney design of the Dalek doesn’t look too shabby. More compact and streamlined.

    It’s the redesign of the TARDIS that’s horrifying. Candy color signage like it’s a vending machine?! Ye Gods. Better off turning it into a DeLorean.

  • Bassygalore

    Awww…see the Doctor would have a hard time convincing people the Daleks were evil if they looked like that. People would just want to pet them and take them home.

  • bronxbee

    no. No. NOOOOO! even the thought — it burns me, burns me, precious!

  • adam

    Thank goodness the tv movie flopped if that was what was going to come out of it.

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