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such a nasty woman | by maryann johanson

female gazing at: Gilderoy Lockhart

He was Magical People magazine’s Sexiest Wizard Alive or Undead for three years running, and it’s easy to see why:

The cape, the wand, the hair… the man:

Some people say he looks like that Muggle actor Kenneth Branagh, but I don’t see it myself.

And he’s not just a pretty face, ladies! He taught Defense Against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts. Note that professorial mien, that intelligently furrowed brow:

He’s simply a dream.

I’m posting pictures like these every weekday, of a man who is attractive and desirable, because I like to look, dammit — and because the female gaze doesn’t have to be such serious business.

(If you have a suggestion for someone we should female-gaze at, feel free to email me with a name or a link to a particular photo.)

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  • Keith

    So I guess you’d be happy with him, Hogwarts and all :)

  • Liz

    Excellent choice. I think John Barrowman should be next . . .

  • Oh Keith. Guh-rooooooan!

  • aquila6

    One word: Liberace.

  • Isobel

    I was just looking at those pictures thinking the costume designer must have had an absolute ball!

  • Lisa

    Branagh must have had a ball what would Wallander make of that?

    I think he’s a great actor but a sucky director, at least on the big screen.

  • LaSargenta

    How is this female gazing? This role was a comic idea of a smarmy seducer…as seen through a male insecurity/jealousy filter.

    I’m confused.

  • MaSch

    Male filter? The initials don’t give it straight away, but J. K. Rowling actually is female …

    I’m a bit confused, though, too. In my mind, the typical female gazing femalely at Gilderoy Lockhart would be someone like Dolores Umbridge …

  • LaSargenta

    @ MaSch, just ’cause she’s a she doesn’t mean that she hasn’t taken on a male filter in her creative work…most likely totally unconsciously. In most cases it is necessary to do this to get one’s work widely seen and accepted.

    And, yeah, what’s with catering to Dolores Umbrage, MaryAnn?!?!!? Does she read your site? (Bet her browser doesn’t crash.)

  • Nina

    Oh, Gilderoy is ok as an object of the female gaze. Suspect MA is just funnin’ us

    Now, John Barrowman/Captain Jack is an excellent suggestion! Who cares if he’s on the other side of the bus.

  • Kat

    as seen through a male insecurity/jealousy filter.

    Rowling stated that Lockhart is based on a personal acquaintance. I recognize the type without ‘male filter’ (quite the contrary): good-looking, charming, backstabbing, riding high through life accumulating praise for work done by others. The only good thing about these guys is their high ogling-factor.

  • Liz

    @Nina, I do believe it was Donna Noble herself who said, “All the decent men are on the other bus.” She couldn’t be more right.

  • MaSch

    Makes one wonder where all the decent woman are, taking the subway, I suppose …

  • Although Lockhart is nice to look at, you’ll have to admit that he’s really not that smart.

    [Of course, Branagh is smart enough to make up for any deficiencies in Lockart’s intelligence]

  • Brian

    @Lisa: What makes you say “sucky” re: Mr. Branagh’s directing abilities? He’s had a few turkeys, but Henry V, Dead Again, and Much Ado About Nothing (minus the lamentable Keanu) more than make up for any other filmic sins in my book.

  • MaryAnn

    Yeah, Lockhart is a joke on the female-gazing thing. Like the Old Spice guy. (I’ll get to him soon.)

  • I_Sell_Books

    Love the hair quotes. Even if I don’t like HP.

  • Lisa

    OK Brian but Dead Again sucked – it went way over the top which I feel he does over and over again in his directing career. Also, while he clearly loves Shakespeare, he does direct his plays (onscreen) in a spelling it out for the dumb people type of way. Ophelia slept with Hamlet (just in case you didn’t understand that bit).

  • Dead Again is a pulpy delight, a terrific homage to Hitchcock. A Midwinter’s Tale and Peter’s Friends are also great.

  • Maura

    I LOVE Gilderoy Lockhart! (KB, not so much, but YMMV…)

    Can we please gaze at the Man Your Man Could Smell Like next? ;)

  • Danielle

    LOL, love the Old Spice guy! My ex-boyfriend, however, was not a fan.

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