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artisanal film reviews | by maryann johanson

the oh-no! DVD of the week: ‘How to Give an Angel Card Reading’

There’s no description at Amazon of what this DVD offers. I guess if it’s meant for you, you’d already know what “angel cards” are, or what can be read into them or out of them. I suppose that tarot cards are evil, and angel cards are an acceptable alternative.

But when I Googled Doreen Virtue — ya think that’s her real name? — I found a treasure trove of wonder and idiocy. From her site, AngelTherapy.com:

Angel Therapy is a non-denominational spiritual healing method that involves working with a person’s guardian angels and archangels, to heal and harmonize every aspect of life. Angel Therapy also helps you to more clearly receive Divine Guidance from the Creator and angels.

Everyone has guardian angels, and these angels perform God’s will of peace for us all. When we open ourselves to hear our angels’ messages, every aspect of our lives become more peaceful.

Who is Doreen Virtue that she knows these things?

Doreen Virtue is a spiritual doctor of psychology and a fourth-generation metaphysician who works with the angelic, elemental, and ascended-master realms in her writings and workshops.

Ah, she’s Doctor Virtue! Also:

As a child, Doreen was a natural clairvoyant, seeing and conversing with what many people call “invisible friends.”

Oh-kay…

The FAQ is awesome. But my favorite thing of all might be today’s Daily Meditation:

Give yourself healthy doses of freedom through the process of simplification, a reduction of expenditures, and a lightening of your load-of-debt ratio.

Every time you pay down that credit card, an angel gets its wings.



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  • Ooh! I want to fight crime with the amazingly clairvoyant Doctor Virtue!

  • Left_Wing_Fox

    Ah “Angel Cards”, Tarot for people who don’t want to consort with the Devil.

  • CB

    But when I Googled Doreen Virtue — ya think that’s her real name?

    Hey, let’s see you hawk angel cards with the birth name of Lilith Sinpit!

    Who is Doreen Virtue that she knows these things?

    Duh, she harmonized her life and opened herself up and then the angles told her!

  • I_Sell_Books

    Sadly, she is incredibly popular. Along with Sylvia Browne. Somewhat along the lines of Thomas Kinkade “Painter of Light”.

    Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to find my eyes, for they’ve rolled out of my head.

  • Dokeo

    Um – wtf is a “load-of-debt” ratio? Doesn’t a ratio involve a comparison of two things? So, load vs. debt? Huh? Of course, her whole shtick is a load-o-something. Is there a ratio for that?

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