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artisanal film reviews | by maryann johanson

trailer break: ‘Alpha and Omega’

Take a break from work: watch a trailer…


Okay, so: Girl wolves wear flowers behind their ears. Perfectly normal and natural. But how are we supposed to be able to tell the other wolves are male? Where are their beer cans? Or their beer guts? How are we to know the male wolves are male without clichéd cues?

Also, brilliant move on Lionsgate’s part to underscore that what is driving the plot involves the idea that the two protagonist wolves are meant to have sex with each other — you know, in order to “repopulate” — by using the Duran Duran song “Hungry Like the Wolf,” which everyone knows is a song about being horny. Very clever.

I’m still deciding which I love more: the two pee jokes, or the “Idaho?”/“Ida-who?” exchange. Oscar Wilde must be smacking himself for not coming up with these first.

Thank god it’ll all be in 3D. I’ve been feeling a decided lack of 3D movies of late.

Alpha and Omega opens in the U.S. and Canada on September 17, and in the U.K. on October 22.



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  • Jurgan

    All I could think was: “Isn’t this just Balto?” They even have a goose with a Russian accent.

  • Elucidarian

    Ooh boy, there’s nothing new to see here, is there? It’s another in the pop cultural stream of loser guys hooking up with popular girls. Not that there’s anything wrong with another version of the tale, but the story can’t follow a repetitive formula and be memorable. Switching up the plot device, making them wolves captured to breed, does not equate to originality.

    On the other hand, if the worst of the crude, so-called humor is a full bladder moment, if they can avoid the tired kicked-in-the-nuts scene, I won’t mind my kids enjoying something less than wonderful. I don’t know if I’ll want to go with them, like I did with Despicable Me, but I won’t try to influence them either way.

    Speaking of which, good call on your review of Despicable Me. It was a breath of fresh air.

  • gensing

    Also, brilliant move on Lionsgate’s part to underscore that what is driving the plot involves the idea that the two protagonist wolves are meant to have sex with each other — you know, in order to “repopulate” — by using the Duran Duran song “Hungry Like the Wolf,” which everyone knows is a song about being horny. Very clever.

    Yea… call me old fashioned, but crass and sexual overtones of this don’t seem appropriate for the target age group of this flick. Or maybe the target are those who liked “Grown Ups”?

  • I think this trumps Killers as worst-looking movie of 2010.

  • Nate

    Lionsgate must know they have a POS on their hands since they moved this to a week before Legend of the Guardians. That movie looks fantastic.

  • vucubcaquix

    This picture is a touch outdated and I know Lionsgate isn’t necessarily analogous to Dreamworks, but I thought you might get a hoot out of this picture that came from the bowels of a certain Anonymous image board, we call it the Dreamworks Face:

    http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3472/3398960470_05527c04b1_b.jpg

  • Left_Wing_Fox

    What I really want to see made into an animated film is “Clan Apis”.

    I started thinking about it with your comment about the “Minion Smurfette”, and realizing that the real life analoges to the Smurfs would be the oposite; Bees and ants are almost totally genetically female, except for the male drones that do nothing but inseminate the queen. Of course, if you watch animated films with bees and ants, they’re usually male/female groups, or worse, male-dominated in line with pop culture. And now, this.

    “Clan Apis” would be a wonderful film. Legitimately educational, scientifically accurate (it was written by an entomologist specializing in honeybees), and fill of humor and some incredibly touching moments.

  • JT

    Urgh. I’ve seen this trailer already and it really does look awful. The sexual overtones are particularly bizarre here. I have to echo gensing’s question: who the hell is the target audience supposed to be?

  • Joan

    What I really want to see made into an animated film is “Clan Apis”.

    Oh my goodness, I would love that. I’ve never once gotten to the end of Clan Apis without crying. It’s so very wonderful. But I bet Hollywood would find some way to give Nyuki, Dvorah and their sisters sex changes, just to ensure poor little boys aren’t forced to sympathize with female protagonists. Who knows what might happen? (I do love big, dumb Zambur, though. He doesn’t make me cry like Nyuki, but he’s very cute!)

    As for Alpha and Omega, nope! Thanks, but nope.

  • JSW

    Damn, and I was hoping to see a team-up between the robot from Power Rangers and that ancient Time Lord from Doctor Who.

  • Martin

    Again with the butts

    Pointing out what I was thinking isn’t a joke.

  • RogerBW

    Martin, just what I was planning to post. Just what is it these film-makers are repressing?

    I wonder if one could regard this sort of thing as encouraging boys into premature sexual stereotyping just as the Disney Princess stuff encourages girls.

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