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artisanal film reviews | by maryann johanson

female gazing at: Jeff Goldblum


Like Patrick Wilson, Jeff Goldblum should provide some distraction during the horror that is sure to be The Switch (he plays, it seems, a friend of the Jason Bateman character).

One of the things I love about eyeglasses? They’re just one more thing to take off a guy. So this pic is particularly yummy to me:

Rumor has it that Goldblum is leaving Law and Order: Criminal Intent… and so soon after he reinvigorated the series. *sigh*

Ultimate Goldblum-itude: Earth Girls Are Easy:

Though you don’t need to be easy to melt in the face of this.

I’m posting pictures like these every weekday, of a man who is attractive and desirable, because I like to look, dammit — and because the female gaze doesn’t have to be such serious business.

(If you have a suggestion for someone we should female-gaze at, feel free to email me with a name or a link to a particular photo.)



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  • yah,yah, yah… doing the happy, sexy dance. i loves me some jeff goldblum. thanks muchly.

  • JoshDM

    Not that I want any, but epic fail for no Buckaroo Banzai pics.

  • Victor Plenty

    Sorry to continue the interruption, but I just can’t resist laughing at JoshDM’s preemptive disclaimer. It’s okay, dude. Everybody here knows Buckaroo Banzai is cool. You can say it, and nobody will think you want to make out with him or something.

    (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)

    Okay, enough snark. Please, continue with the regularly scheduled gazing.

  • Anne-Kari

    Gotta post a remark about the little-known 1990 flick “Mr. Frost”, in which Goldblum starred alongside Kathy Baker and Alan Bates.

    The movie itself was a big ol’ mess with plot hole galore, erratic pacing, and some of THE most distractingly awful hairdos EVER. Really, I am not exaggerating here at all: The insane hair on nearly every character almost upends the film completely. It’s THAT distracting.

    But it you can train your eyes to see past all that, what you are left with is a tight, interesting little horror film in which the thrills and chills come from what is implied and not what is CGI’d n the screen.

    The biggest draw is Goldblum, who manages to be equally compelling as a creepy sick guy AND a super-sexy guy. I know, I know, we’ve seen this kind of setup before, but trust me, it really works here – in no small part because the writing is occasionally great, and because Baker is so good with Goldblum.

    If you have the chance to come across this (very rare) DVD, jump on it!

  • Dokeo

    Anne-Kari: thanks for reminding me of Mr. Frost. I haven’t thought about that movie in years. I don’t recall any issues with hairdos, but maybe that’s because I saw it in the 80’s, when they still looked “normal.” My god, when I remember how high my bangs were…well, lets just draw a veil over that, shall we?

  • Odeariemeyes.

    The other half doesn’t get the Goldblum thing, but all the women he knows do! Does? Do? Either way it sound funny.

  • MaryAnn

    Not that I want any, but epic fail for no Buckaroo Banzai pics.

    I gotta work with mostly what’s online. I had to grab the *Earth Girls* pic from the DVD, but I knew exactly in the movie where that was. I didn’t have hours to spend trying to find the perfect still from *Banzai.* Sorry.

  • Did you see any of his failed show Rains? It was very good; much better than Law & Order CI. In Rains you get to see Jeff Goldbloom at his Jeff Goldbloomiest.

  • Oh, whoops: Raines.

  • Lenina Crowne

    Oh, hell yes. My mother always makes fun of me for thinking Jeff Goldblum is hot, but I’m not alone!

  • In Rains you get to see Jeff Goldbloom at his Jeff Goldbloomiest.

    Even more so than Tenspeed and Brownshoe? ;-)

    Tonio I: You know you’re probably one of the few people who regularly post here who are even old enough to remember Tenspeed and Brownshoe, much less remember it well enough to have any fondness for it?

    Tonio II: Oh, hush. I’m also probably one of the few people here who still carries a torch for the Beth Davenport character on The Rockford Files but that doesn’t mean that’s a bad thing.

    Tonio I: (*Rolls eyes*) If you say so…

  • JoshDM
  • allochthon

    +1

  • My ex Erica was a huge Goldblum fan, we watched a lot of his movies, even including such gems as Transylvania 6-5000 (which I love, but is cheeeeesy!). The Favour, the Watch and the Very Big Fish was especially interesting…

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