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artisanal film reviews | by maryann johanson

‘Doctor Who’ thing of the day: “Doctor in Distress”

It was the 1980s. Pop charity tunes were all the rage. And when Doctor Who was threatened with cancellation, pop stars stepped forward. “Doctor in Distress” was the result. If you don’t remember it, I envy you. It’s fairly terrifying:


I know what you’re saying now: “I wish I could understand all those lyrics so I can memorize them by heart.” And here ya go:

Eighteen months is too long to wait
Bring back the Doctor, don’t hesitate

It was a cold wet night in November
Twenty-two years ago
There was a police box in a junkyard
We didn’t know where it would go
An old man took two teachers
Into time and space
It started off a legend
That no other could replace

Chorus
Doctor in distress
Let’s all answer his SOS
Doctor in distress
Bring him back now, we won’t take less

Who’s the Doctor over there?

There were evil metal creatures
Who tried to exterminate
Inside each of their casings
Was a bubbling lump of hate
We met cybernetic humans
With no feelings at all
Warriors of the ice
Who stood over seven feet tall

Chorus

Bring him back now, we won’t take less
If we stop his travels he’ll be in a mess
The galaxy will fall to evil once more
With nightmarish monsters fighting a war

Chorus

No no no no no

We learned to accept six Doctors
With companions at their side
When they were faced with danger
They didn’t run, they didn’t hide
There was a Brigadier and a Master
And a canine computer
Each screaming girl just hoped
That a Yeti wouldn’t shoot her

Chorus x2

No one ever said being a Doctor Who fan would be only a painless thing.

(If you stumble across a cool Doctor Who thing, feel free to email me with a link.)



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