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such a nasty woman | by maryann johanson

someone should really do something about piracy!

From The New York Times:

The music and movie companies, which estimate that digital piracy costs the United States economy $16 billion in lost revenue each year, have been eager for an efficient way to deal with the problem.

Don’t worry: they figured it out! And no, no one said, “Hey, why don’t we give movie and TV fans a way to legitimately pay for and download the stuff they’re screaming at us that they want.” Of course not.

Americans who illegally download songs and movies may soon be in for a surprise: They will be warned to stop, and if they don’t, they could find their Internet access slowing to a crawl.

See, and this is a good thing. Our corporate overlords are being nice to us. They don’t have to be nice, you know.

The companies took pains to say that the agreement did not oblige Internet providers to shut down a repeat offender’s account, and that the system of alerts was meant to be “educational.” But they noted that carriers would retain their right to cut off any user who violated their terms of service.

Don’t make Daddy hit you. He’s taking pains to be educational here.

In bringing together the media companies and Internet carriers, the deal demonstrates how the once-clear line separating those two businesses has been blurred. Eight years ago, the Recording Industry Association of America had to sue Verizon to try to uncover the identity of a customer who was sharing music online. This year, Comcast completed its merger with NBC, bringing an owner of digital content and a conduit for it under the same roof.

See? Mom and Dad used to fight all the time. Then Mommy figured out it would be good for her if she stopped being such a mouthy bitch all the time. So don’t go running to Mom thinking that’s gonna help you: she’s on Daddy’s side now. It’s better for all of us that way.

Now the Internet providers are hoping to profit as they pipe music and video of the nonpirated variety to their customers.

“The I.S.P.’s want to cooperate with Hollywood because the carriers recognize that their own growth depends in part on bundled content strategies,” said Eric Garland of BigChampagne, which tracks online media traffic. “They don’t want to be just utilities providing Internet access, but premium content distributors as well.”

There’s no way this won’t ensure domestic tranquility.

(Thanks to bronxbee for the link.)

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