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artisanal film reviews | by maryann johanson

question of the day: What do you dread most about Brett Ratner’s upcoming Oscars ceremony?

Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan in Rush Hour 3
a scene from the 2012 Oscars

Sign of the Apocalypse No. 43,258,143: Fauxteur Brett Ratner will be producing the 2012 Oscarcast. From Digital Spy:

Ratner revealed that he has “some names in the back of [his] mind” for who might host the awards show, but said that he has not had the chance to discuss it with [coproducer Don] Mischer yet.

He also insisted that “comedy is the key” for the event, adding: “If people can sit in that theatre and laugh, and people can watch at home around the world and laugh, then I’ve accomplished what I want to do. The [ratings] will be what they are.”

Ratner’s idea of comedy is Rush Hour 3. So perhaps we should brace ourselves for Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker as hosts, with Chan looking embarassed and Tucker doing a one-man minstrel show. Should be outrageous fun.

More:

Mischer has also revealed that he is “very very excited” to be working with Ratner because he “radiates ideas” and is “immersed in the film business from so many angles”.

The ideas that Ratner has already radiated? The juvenile anti-buddy schtick and “comedic” gay terror of After the Sunset. The soap opera coloring book of X-Men: The Last Stand. Coming up later this year he’ll bestow upon us Tower Heist (trailer here), a Die Hard/Ocean’s Eleven parody that stars — wait for it — Ben Stiller.

The really sad thing about Ratner? He’s trying to be Michael Bay, and he falls short of that.

So: What do you dread most about Brett Ratner’s upcoming Oscars ceremony? The homophobia? The racism? The sexism? The fact that he may just blow up the auditorium in a fit of impotent childish rage?

(If you have a suggestion for a QOTD, feel free to email me. Responses to this QOTD sent by email will be ignored; please post your responses here.)



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