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artisanal film reviews | by maryann johanson

question of the day: What actors would you ban from working in Hollywood, and for what offense?

Charlie Sheen tiger blood

I don’t pretend to understand all the intricacies of the Indian film industry, but this is crazy in any culture. From The Times of India:

It’s about lucre, language, gender bias and chauvinism. While actor Darshan, who allegedly battered his wife, burnt her with cigarette stubs and threatened her at gun point, has escaped Sandalwood’s wrath, Nikita Thukral, the actress who is said to be the reason for the rift between Darshan and his wife, has been banned for three years from acting in Kannada movies.

The Karnataka Film Producers’ Association’s Sunday ban has met with public silence by the stalwarts of Sandalwood, implying a tacit approval for such an action. The big stars, producers and directors see no reason to ask for tough measures against an actor who indulges in domestic violence and battery.

So: married actor and unmarried actress have an affair (allegedly; she denies it), and she gets banned from working but he does not. But obviously if it’s okay for a man to be a violent bully and still be respected by his professional peers, a little nooky on the side is hardly a thing at all.

Can you imagine if Hollywood tried the same thing? No one would be working at all. Instead, though, we have situations such as the one a MediaBistro headline noted recently:

Comedy Central’s New Low: Rapist Mike Tyson to Roast Wife Beater Charlie Sheen

It’s all in good fun, you see.

So let us have some all-in-good-fun:

What actors would you ban from working in Hollywood, and for what offense?

Tyson and Sheen would be at the top of the list. Anyone who is violent and abusive to others would join them. Let’s keep that shit onscreen only.

Tyson could be banned, too, under the new So Terrible an Actor I Want to Scream Act, as well as the Please Don’t Make Me Look at Your Ugly Mug Again decree.

Of course, we have no power to ban anyone, and we’re not even calling for anyone to actually be banned, were such a thing even possible and not likely to get us laughed out of town. We’re just daydreaming about those people we’d like to think could no longer enjoy their fame and fortune.

(If you have a suggestion for a QOTD, feel free to email me. Responses to this QOTD sent by email will be ignored; please post your responses here.)



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