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artisanal film reviews | by maryann johanson

Game of Thrones Season One watch-a-thon: “Baelor”

Game of Thrones DVD

(previous: “The Pointy End”)

spoilers

Oh my god! Holy fucking shit!

I hate this show. And I love this show.

Ned is dead.

Ned is dead? No! That’s not right.

Grandpa, you’re reading it wrong. I just know Ned lives, I just know it!

You don’t kill Sean Bean. You don’t.

(Oh, wait: he died in The Lord of the Rings, too, didn’t he?)

*sigh*

Joffrey. *simmering rage* You will get yours, you little brat rat.
Okay, not all is lost. Jamie is Robb’s prisoner. Clever Robb! He’s gotta marry one of Walder’s unattractive daughters, and Arya’s been promised to one of his sons, and that’s not gonna matter whether the son is attractive or not. But things could be worse.

Meanwhile: Drogo needs antibiotics that he’s not going to get. He’s going to get “blood magic” instead. Should we take the existence of zombies to mean that magic is real in this universe? Or is the “blood magic” only cover for honest doctoring? Is Daenerys’s baby about to be infected with death demons?

Crap on it all.

(next: “Fire and Blood”)



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