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such a nasty woman | by maryann johanson

London photo of the day: tragedy at Ikea

Ikea Croydon
Tragedy struck at the Ikea store in Croydon earlier today when shopper MaryAnn Johanson, who had arrived at the Swedish superstore by mass transit, found that she had purchased just enough pillows, candles, kitchen doodads, and storage containers that she would not be able to add the additional weight of frozen meatballs to her load, and was forced to leave the Purley Way retail park entirely sans köttbulle.

”I came by bus and tram,” sobbed Johanson, 42, ”and so anything I bought I’d have to lug home the same way. I just didn’t have the upper body strength to add anything else to my load. Certainly not four two-and-a-half-pound bags of frozen meatballs.

”Also, I wasn’t sure there was any room left in the freezer at home. I forgot to check before I left.”

Johanson was consoled by fellow shoppers who assured her that Ikea has never been subject to a meatball shortage, and that Ikea Croydon is open every day but Sunday till 10pm, offering ample opportunity for future acquisition.

“There were meatballs everywhere,” Johanson continued, “except in my wagon. It was awful.”

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