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even my henchmen think I’m crazy | by maryann johanson

After Earth (trailer)

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This is from M. Night Shyamalan, so all through the trailer I can’t help myself hearing a faux solemn Charlton Heston-esque voice in my head saying, “And the planet was known as Earth.” Sure enough…

But there’s gotta be another twist, since it’s Shyamalan, so I’m gonna guess that this is actually Earth 50,000 years ago. Or else Will Smith and Son are characters in the same game that Tom Cruise in Oblivion is stuck in.

(Ah: I think I may have guessed what the real twist actually is, in the same way that I guessed what the twist of The Sixth Sense was from the trailer… and that was even before we knew to suspect a twist from this filmmaker.)

We can rest assured, however, that Shyamalan is fucking with us again. How? Will Smith’s character is named “Cypher Raige.” I shit you not: Smith plays “Legendary General Cypher Raige.” That sounds like something the guys on MST3K would make up: Dirk Squarejaw! Lunk Blockhead! Maybe Shyamalan misses Joel and the bots too…

US/Canada release date: Jun 7 2013 | UK release date: Jun 7 2013
official site | IMDb
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movie buzz | trailers
  • http://reformamendment.blogspot.com/ Paul Wartenberg

    Shyamalan is a good visual director, it’s just his stories are not as profound or as deep as he thinks they are.  I really hope the story/script had other people working on it.

  • Tangeu

    It did, dude who wrote Book of Eli wrote this.  Not sure if that will give you more hope or less…

  • http://reformamendment.blogspot.com/ Paul Wartenberg

    …you know, more hope.  With luck, Mila Kunis will show up.  …what?

  • http://reformamendment.blogspot.com/ Paul Wartenberg

     We’re all playing the same game.  We are all trapped in the Matrix… take the red pill… the red pill………

  • CB

    Oh hey it’s another Shyamalan flick that I won’t see.  Maybe if you give it a glowing review I’ll reconsider, but I’m not holding my breath. 

    Maybe the twist is that he finally learned that he doesn’t have to do a twist every movie?

  • http://wellspringfoam.blogspot.com/ Mate Sršen

    Will Smith is already dead (died in the crash landing, and Jaden is seeing a ghost/delusion/AI hologram/alien)! Jaden and Will are the same character (time travel)! Jaden befriends the planet’s lifeforms and goes native! Wait, that one sounds familiar.

    Combo: Will is an AI from the ship’s holodeck and thinks it’s a game, but Jaden knows it’s real and they actually did crash! He loaded up this videogame general because he’s the toughest guy he knows, and can help him survive.

  • the rook

    so was that dr. zeus at 1:28?

  • http://twitter.com/lescarr lescarr

    He’s a telephone sanitizer?

  • Jurgan

    So, bits of I Am Legend, some Avatar, and Will Smith continuing to buy careers for his kids.  On the plus side, it looks good, but Shyamalan these days is only good as fodder for Rifftrax.

  • RogerBW

    At “two survivors”, I was expecting Adam and Eve, so Shyamalan isn’t always going for the most obvious twist. I guess that’s something.

  • Bracyman

    Sam Crashmaster! Adam Stonecrusher! 

  • Beowulf

    Yes….and bring Scarlett Johansson with her to make bad little boys be good.

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