artisanal film reviews | by maryann johanson
Wed Jul 31 2013, 10:44pm | 14 comments
Not available on newsstands anywhere:
Let me take a wild guess: there will be exactly one female-coded plane with a name.
I think there’s two, actually. One of them is pink!
Goodness, I think the second one’s meant to be a DH.88. Heresy!
Turbo is about racing snails, not cars. But I can see where it would blur with the other two.
With eyelashes, amirite?
to be fair, Cars and Cars II made money…
Good movies make money too.
And Planes is about planes, not cars. So, totally different, then.
Well, obviously. Whole different type of fuel and everything.
Oh, and here’s something perverse: one of the characters is getting a paint job localised to each area where the film’s being shown.
And the sequel already has a release date.
Not… always. (thinks back to Out of Sight in 1998 barely making 30 million during its release… shoulda been raking in Pulp Fiction level of moolah)
I saw a car with long, rubbery eyelashes on its headlights in real life, at my local library. It had a male driver and the car was not pink, but a black beater.
I see a VW with eyelashes around my neighborhood at least once a week. It looks a lot like this:
I like to assume the driver is a large man with tattoos.
“By the same company that bought you: Toy Story, The Incredibles and……”
Holy crap, that burns
Well, no, not always. But not all bad movies make money, either. So, all other things being equal, why not make good movies?
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