artisanal film reviews | by maryann johanson
Thu Jan 23 2014, 10:56am | 8 comments
I should have been spending the last 16 years writing young adult fantasy novels set at a school for supernatural beings who live secretly among us muggles.
What an idiot I’ve been.
What a great idea! The writer of Heathers and the director of Mean Girls teamed up to make the ultimate high-school satire, with vampires as a central metaphor. I hope the studio doesn’t promote it as a derivative supernatural romance.
Yeah, then you could sell the film rights and watch the thing nosedive out of cinemas. There really isn’t much second-mover advantage: City of Bones and Beautiful Creatures both just barely made their budgets back, and half of that goes to the cinemas. This one? It’ll have to be amazing even to be noticed.
I think she should write about a support group for the ex-girlfriends of the male characters in other fantasy novels.
I’d laugh all the way to the bank, and then after.
As long as you weren’t on a percentage. No idea what sort of deals YA writers are being offered on film rights these days.
In 1976 I was doing a *very* successful film review show on the public radio station in Houston, and my best friend had a brainstorm: I should take this to TV!
But who’d want to watch some dork review movies, I asked. Wouldn’t it be boring to have some know-it-all lecturing people about what films to watch?
Easy! he said. Just get another reviewer, and have the two of you argue about what’s worthwhile or not.
That, I said, is the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard of for a tv show.
Forget the film rights. These books have sold millions of copies.
If any of these YA authors are getting percentage of the net (only really top tier get points on the gross), they need to have their agents fired… and hanged.
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