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such a nasty woman | by maryann johanson

Game of Thrones S04 E02: “The Lion and the Rose” holy crap


(previous: “Two Swords”)

Oh my god.

I kind of want to say, “You’re not reading that right , Grandpa.” Except OMFG, this is so much more awesome than I could ever have hoped for.

Ding dong, Joffrey is dead.


Really? I mean, he’s only mostly dead, right?

No. I think he’s really dead.

I can’t believe that, under my breath, all through that be-my-wine-carrier crap of Joffrey’s, I was muttering for Tyrion to just poison the little brat already. I still can’t believe it actually happened.

I feel like it’s 1980 and Who Shot JR? all over again. Who Poisoned Joffrey? (No fair spoiling if you’ve read the books.) I suspect Jaime. No! It’s gotta be Margaery, right? She’s on the throne now and so it was time to eliminate Joffrey. (But does she get to keep being queen? I don’t know how this stuff works in Westeros.) Anyone but Tyrion. There’s no way in hell it could actually be Tyrion. I wouldn’t put such an act past Tywin, except there doesn’t seem to be any benefit to him. A Lannister on the throne is a bonus… and a double Lannister is even more of a bonus in the very long run — like the one that extends past the point at which everyone now alive is dead — but only if it’s a secret now. Tywin would only have motive to kill someone who might reveal that Joffrey isn’t King Robert’s son, and hence shouldn’t even be on the throne at all, right?


Could not have happened to a nicer guy.

Oh, and Internet? I love you:


Everything else that happened in this episode I’ve now totally forgotten.

Wait, it’s coming back…

So, earlier on, I was thinking: Bran is gonna eventually remember what he saw before Jaime pushed him out of that tower, isn’t he?


And that was already gonna complicate the issue of just who should be on the Iron Throne even before Joffrey’s death. Now it could be even more complicated, because whoever succeeds Joffrey could have even less claim if that claim is through Joffrey.

Aside: Those trees with faces that Bran is hanging out with are creepy. And was the Bran stuff in the previous episode shot like two years ago and the Bran stuff in this episode shot much more recently? Because Isaac Hempstead Wright, between last episode and this, has suddenly stopped looking like a little boy and looks more like a young man:


And oo, I forgot that the littlest Stark boys were believed dead and so no one is looking for them… well, till now, that is. I think Noah Taylor (whose character’s name I cannot remember from episode to episode) was happy to get out of there and go search for the Stark boys just to get away from Ramsay, who seems to squick out even him.

(Aside: Is Theon biding his time before he slashes Ramsay’s throat while shaving him, or is he truly broken? Theon was always kind of a jerk and a creep, but I feel a little bit sorry for him now.)


OMG! Could Joffrey’s death be some result of Melisandre’s magic? Was this


not just a cleansing but a sacrifice in aid of clearing Stannis’s way to the Iron Throne? I don’t know how but it’s magic, so anything could happen. Even if Stannis is starting to seem somewhat sane again compared to his witch and his wife. (“I’m not a witch, I’m your wife!” </princessbride> Sorry.) Maybe some of Liam Cunningham’s (I can never remember his character’s name either) rationality is rubbing off?

Isn’t it interesting that Stannis’s “deformed” daughter is hidden away while Tywin’s “deformed” son has real power? Or, at least, Tyrion had real power until Cersei had him thrown in jail. Hey, how does she get to command that, anyway? She’s back to be a relative nobody, isn’t she?

Isn’t it interesting that Melisandre’s religion, the one that so far most approximates the One True God religions most Western viewers of this show will recognize, is not depicted as very nice?

Isn’t it interesting how interesting a couple Tyrion and Sansa might turn out to be?


They might not be in love — though that could theoretically come later; or not; doesn’t matter — but they do share a certain skepticism of the awesomeness of those in power. They could develop a kind of power of their own.

Oh dear. Brienne is in love with Jaime, isn’t she? She may not have realized it until Cersei asked


but that deer-in-headlights look is a dead giveaway.

(Probably shouldn’t say “dead” around these people, even as a metaphor.)

But poor Jaime is so in love with his sister that he’s threatening to turn her gay fiancé into her dead gay fiancé if he actually goes through with the wedding.


Is there going to be another deadly wedding?

(next: “Breaker of Chains”)

posted in:
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  • OMG! Could Joffrey’s death be some result of Melisandre’s magic?

    “The usurper, Joffrey Baratheon” ring a bell?

    Jaime didn’t threaten to kill Ser Loras, he simply warned him that Circe would kill him in his sleep if they were married. Loved his retort, though. :)

  • crowTrobot

    The line of succession makes Joffrey’s younger brother, Tommen (the one Cersei almost poisoned during Blackwater,) king. You can see him sitting next to Tyrion.

  • David_Conner

    My probably-wrong theory is that Cersei finally decided to write off her oldest child. Why? If you’re going to poison the king, one important step might be to ensure that nobody is present who might be able to identify the exotic and horrible poison you’re using and save the target somehow. Someone like a Maester. And who sent away the Maester of King’s Landing? (I’m also assuming that Qyburn, though probably more knowledgeable, wasn’t invited as he’s a disgraced not-Maester guy now.)

  • Drave

    I love how perfectly the show set up an “anybody at the table could have done it” scenario. Almost every single person there had motive and opportunity.

  • David_Conner

    But who will be able to unravel the mystery? What investigator could possibly have the ability to solve the case and also navigate between all the interested players of King’s Landing?

    This looks like a job for Hodor, Consulting Detective!

  • Dr. Rocketscience

    Is the identity of Joffery’s killer kept secret from the reader in the book? I mean, I know who did it just because I don’t care about spoilers. I assumed that the tension in the rest of the book was generated… well, elsewhere.

  • David_Conner

    “And was the Bran stuff in the previous episode shot like two years ago
    and the Bran stuff in this episode shot much more recently? Because
    Isaac Hempstead Wright, between last episode and this, has suddenly
    stopped looking like a little boy and looks more like a young man:”

    Apparently he just grew a lot. Which isn’t the first time such a thing happened. Apparently Sophie Turner (Sansa) grew, like, 9 inches taller between casting and filming the first episode. (She was only 13, so that sort of thing can happen.)

    Sansa was never “written” as being so tall, but I think it adds an interesting element. There’s the obvious thing about her being significantly taller than both Joffrey and Tyrion, not to mention that most of the time in King’s Landing she desperately wants to NOT stand out from the crowd.

  • *Law & Order: King’s Landing.*

  • David_Conner

    I forget where I read it, but my favorite whodunit theory is that it was Margaery… when she realized that she would essentially be spending the rest of her life saying “Look! The Pie!”

  • BrianJKelly

    It is for a little bit, but not overly long. Not Twin Peaks long. =)

  • And, it is actually all there in the episode, too — plenty of clues for the re-watcher! :D

  • Smrkljuzh Franz

    Joffrey has a younger brother Tommen, so his brother has as much good “claim” as his elder brother had. Thus he is now the new king. If he was to die the line of succession would move to their elder sister and to whomever she is married.

  • Bluejay

    I wouldn’t put such an act past Tywin, except there doesn’t seem to be any benefit to him.

    I also remember him telling Tyrion that the one time he didn’t do something of benefit to himself was when he let Tyrion live, though he wanted to kill him as soon as he was born; he let Tyrion live because he’s a Lannister, and to Tywin that means absolutely everything. I don’t think he’s behind Joffrey’s demise. If he is, I’ll be very surprised.

  • Bluejay

    On second thought: he let Tyrion live because Tyrion’s a Lannister, in name and in fact, but Joffrey is supposed to be (as far as he knows?) Robert Baratheon’s blood as well. Maybe Tywin doesn’t have scruples about offing relatives who don’t carry the Lannister name?

  • I think Tywin knows full well that Joffrey is in no way a Baratheon, and wasn’t Robert’s son at all. He’s too wily not to know.

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