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artisanal film reviews | by maryann johanson

no Transformers review from me today (but it and more reviews are coming over the weekend)

Transformers: Age of Extinction doesn’t open in the U.K. till July 10th — though, actually, it starts getting daily “previews” on July 5th; this is a fun accounting game that sneakily boosts box office numbers, because it means the film will have a nine-day “opening weekend.” But I’m off to my screening now (in IMAX, for my sins), and no one has said anything about an embargo, so I expect to have a review ready tomorrow or Sunday.

In the meantime, enjoy this loud trailer:

snowpiercerdvd

I’ve also got some access to a bunch of films getting limited releases in North America this weekend, so I expect to have some reviews of those over the weekend. One of them, Snowpiercer, I had to cheat a little bit with. The film doesn’t even have a U.K. release date yet, but it’s already available on DVD in Continental Europe, so I ordered one (with available subtitles and dubbing in Castilian!). And it arrived today. I’m sure I’m going to want to see this on a big screen as soon as I can, but I can’t wait that long. I’ll report on the film asap.





  • RogerBW

    I hope you find something to enjoy in the three hour rollercoaster ride.

    I have no idea what they think they’re doing with the Snowpiercer release date. It’s even stranger than most embargoes. What, they drum up publicity and then think we won’t pop over to France and pick up a copy?

  • I have no idea what the hell is going on with Snowpiercer. Maybe someone thinks it’s more of an autumn movie for the UK? But the ready availability of the film on DVD is going to present a problem…

  • David

    I might be going out on a limb here, but I seriously doubt that you’re going to give Transformers: noun of noun a positive review. In fact I’m pretty sure that you’re going to hate it; which is good because it amuses us to read about how much you suffered watching films like this. Your three hours of misery will transfer to about 5 minutes of mild amusement for thousands of people. There’s something almost noble about that.

  • David

    Not to mention that you can just use a proxy IP server to watch it on demand where it’s available. That’s how I watch TV that’s available in Canada and the UK, but not in the US yet.

  • Bluejay

    I’m not entirely sure whether you intend to communicate sympathy with your comment. I can almost hear you saying these words in Count Rugen’s voice.

  • Danielm80

    Everything David says reminds me of Lonely Sarcastic Guy:

    http://youtu.be/ziH9St7ajuw

    However, Transformers: Noun of Noun is by far the best description I’ve heard of the movie.

  • David

    I do have sympathy for the suffering that she must go through in order to review this 3 hour turd while at the same time recognizing that it is for the greater good (My personal amusement).

  • David

    Ha, you should read the comments I leave on Huffpost. I can be a real asshole when I want to be :)

  • Bluejay

    However, Transformers: Noun of Noun is by far the best description I’ve heard of the movie.

    It’s a good one, but in my opinion Nordling’s review at AICN does one better: it ditches the title altogether and instead refers to the film, repeatedly, as Fuck You.

  • Bluejay

    Great video. I think Lonely Sarcastic Guy grew up to be Jaime Lannister:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-FbdNu2dvuw

  • LaSargenta

    Why the hell is Snowpiercer getting an arthouse release?!

    In NYC, it is playing at the Angelica.
    *eyesroll*

  • RogerBW

    Why the hell is Snowpiercer getting an arthouse release?!

    It’s not a hyperkinetic actionfest like Transformers: Noun the Noun?

  • LaSargenta

    I dunno…its trailer sure tries to make it look like one. (I hope to see it soon. I was in Freehold, NJ over the weekend and typed in the local zip code on Fandango to see showtimes. The only showings that came up were in NYC…that’s an hour and a quarter away in clear traffic.) It didn’t even show up in Philadelphia!

  • RogerBW

    I’ve seen it. I don’t want to steal MaryAnn’s thunder but I think it’s fair to say that it’s more arty than your typical action film and more actiony than your typical art film.

  • And so it will please no one outside critics, perhaps. (I still haven’t seen it.)

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