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artisanal film reviews | by maryann johanson

Two Night Stand and #Stuck movie(s) review: let’s (not) talk about casual sex

by MaryAnn Johanson

#Stuck Two Night Stand red light

Apparently written by the same people who write the ridiculous quizzes and sex-tip listicles in Cosmo and Men’s Health
I’m “biast” (pro): nothing

I’m “biast” (con): nothing

(what is this about? see my critic’s minifesto)

A couple (Miles Teller [Divergent] and Analeigh Tipton [Lucy]/Joel David Moore [The Guest] and Madeline Zima) in New York/Los Angeles face the awkwardness of having their one-night stand dragged out into a second day thanks to a record-breaking snowstorm that shuts down all transit and strands her at his apartment/an epic traffic jam during the drive to pick up her vehicle that strands her in his car. Hence ensues uncomfortable conversations in which they reintroduce themselves, having forgotten each others’ names/uncomfortable conversations in which they reintroduce themselves, having forgotten each others’ names; protestations on her part that, honestly, she knows women always say this, but she really has never done anything like this before/protestations on her part that, honestly, she knows women always say this, but she really has never done anything like this before; and passive-aggressive confessions and accusations about sexual acts surreptitiously rushed through and faked/passive-aggressive confessions and accusations about sexual acts surreptitiously rushed through and faked. And if you think this is all rather unpleasant for the participants, it’s even worse for those of us forced to eavesdrop on their tedious, self-absorbed, ultimately unenlightening chatter. Frankness is a poor substitute for characters we enjoy spending time with doing stuff we might potentially care about, but please enjoy all the emotional engagement of a trip to the dentist. Apparently written by the same people who write the ridiculous quizzes and sex-tip listicles in Cosmoand Men’s Health — you know, the ones that pretend that all men and all women have precisely the same reactions toward particular physical acts and precisely the same attitudes about sex and relationships — these “celebrations” of casual sex posit is as — surprise! — just one more quirky and allegedy hilarious rom-com method of finding a long-term monogamous partner. Wait, what?


Two Night Stand (2014)
#Stuck (2014)

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Two Night Stand (2014)
US/Canada release date: Sep 26 2014 (VOD same day) | UK release date: Feb 13 2015 (VOD same day)

MPAA: rated R for sexual material, language and some drug use
BBFC: rated 15 (strong language, sex, sex references, drug use)

viewed on my iPad

official site | IMDb
more reviews: Movie Review Query Engine | Rotten Tomatoes
#Stuck (2014)
US/Canada release date: Oct 10 2014 (VOD same day)

MPAA: not rated

viewed on my iPad

official site | IMDb
more reviews: Movie Review Query Engine | Rotten Tomatoes

If you’re tempted to post a comment that resembles anything on the film review comment bingo card, you might want to reconsider.

  • RogerBW

    If your medium isn’t interactive but is expensive to make, you have to try to appeal to the majority, and a cheap way of doing that is to reassure them that they are Normal and these kids today with their one-night stands are just looking for the Right One?

    Dunno, really can’t see the appeal of rom-coms without at least a bit of a twist these days. Seeking a Friend…, Love Actually, even Sliding Doors goes far enough sideways to be appealing, but there has to be something.

  • Jurgan

    “please enjoy all the emotional engagement of a trip to the dentist.”

    Hey, that’s unfair! I’m good friends with my dentist.

  • Jan_Willem

    Wow, two movies seamlessley reviewed as one. Surely this must be some kind of record?

  • Tonio Kruger

    I suspect MaryAnn has never seen the Dustin Hoffman movie Marathon Man. That was certainly emotionally engaging.

  • Tonio Kruger

    Most recent films I see aren’t exactly appealing to Silent Majority types so I’m not sure where you get this from.

    Besides, normality in 2014 terms is a lot more liberal than normality in terms of 1964, 1974, 1984 or even 1994.

    Your mileage obviously varies but I’m not necessarily sure it’s all that accurate.

  • So does *Little Shop of Horrors.*

    But I meant non-cinematic dental adventures. :-)

  • David

    “I don’t engage in casual sex.”
    “Fine, I’ll wear my tie.”

  • 37 Pieces Of Ric Flair

    I still think High Fidelity is one of the best rom-coms in ever.

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