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artisanal film reviews | by maryann johanson

Huevos: Little Rooster’s Egg-Cellent Adventure (Un Gallo con Muchos Huevos) movie review: a cock and balls story

Huevos Little Rooster's Egg-Cellent Adventure Un Gallo con Muchos Huevos red light

Bad chicken-and-egg puns and indoctrination into animal cruelty as just good fun for everyone involved (including the animals). You know, for kids.
I’m “biast” (pro): nothing

I’m “biast” (con): nothing

(what is this about? see my critic’s minifesto)

Un Gallo con Muchos Huevos translates into English as A Rooster with Many Eggs. Which doesn’t make any sense: roosters don’t have eggs or lay eggs; hens do that. But of course in Spanish, huevos is slang for “balls”… that is, testicles. So a fair transliteration of the title of this flick is A Rooster with Lots of Balls, or maybe just A Rooster with Balls. Which means that this CGI cartoon — in which the word huevos gets uttered a lot, and which features anthropomorphized eggs with arms and legs and faces and names — was intended to be one long dick joke. You know, for kids.

It gets worse. In so many varied and diverse ways.

Huevos is the third in a series of Mexican feature films by the brother writing-directing team of Gabriel and Rodolfo Riva Palacio Alatriste, based on their Flash-animated Web comic (which was originally aimed at adults), and the first one to get a release in the U.S.; in fact, it’s the first animated feature of any stripe from Mexico to get a wide release north of the border. As far as I can determine, only the Spanish-language version was seen in cinemas, but the DVD and VOD options include an English-language version, under the name Huevos: Little Rooster’s Egg-Cellent Adventure, which is the one I watched. I don’t speak or understand Spanish, so the running testicle “joke” wouldn’t have worked for me even if I’d watched the subtitled version. (And I suspect it probably wouldn’t have worked on me even if I was fluent in the language.) But then I would have missed out on every possible pun in the English language surrounding the concept of chickens and eggs, all deployed in the dumbest, most obvious, and most unfunny ways imaginable. Eventually I was having to restrain myself from screaming “Dear God make it stop, please make it stop” and perhaps throwing my iPad (on which I watched this) across the room to affect this. (You could have seen this in 3D at the multiplex, which I cannot even fathom the awfulness of.) All the while, my own chicken-and-egg wordplay simmered up: Birdbrained. Smells like rotten eggs. Quit yer squawking. Laid an egg. Dumb cluck.

There’s about 30 minutes of story — very bad story, but still — herein, and it’s all about how a young rooster, called Tito in the Spanish-language version (voiced by Bruno Bichir) and Rolo in the English-language version (voiced by Zachary Gordon: The Incredible Burt Wonderstone, Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days), is determined to save the bankrupt farm he lives on from a takeover by an Evil Human. Yeah, literally, this is about “saving the farm.” It’s also literally about cockfighting… you know, the vicious blood sport in which animals are forced by humans to fight to the death for the humans’ amusement. Tito/Rolo will enter the local “boxing” competition, bet the farm against the badass champion (voiced in the English version by someone who sounds like Sylvester Stallone’s Rocky), and win, even though he is a scrawny wimp. (How can chickens make bets on human-owned real estate? Don’t ask.)

The movie pretends that cockfighting isn’t to-the-death, and also that the chickens enjoy it, which is perhaps the most insidious thing to be found in a movie aimed at children: it’s indoctrinating them into accepting animal cruelty as just good fun for everyone involved (including the animals). So it’s only by a relative measure that the sub-Rocky/Karate Kid training sequences, in which Tito/Rolo gets into shape for the big fight, is less offensive.

Further abject terribleness pads out that slender story. Huevos takes place in an incoherently imagined fantasy world where not only chickens walk and talk like humans but eggs also somehow have arms and legs and faces and make cracks about pooping (ie, “I mighta pooped a little” as a response to something scary); no, I don’t know how eggs poop either. It is a place where eggs are menaced by Evil Humans who throw them into frying pans whole, shells and all, because that’s how we cook eggs, apparently. It’s a world where eggs are people who can then hatch into chickens who also seem to be still the same people (and no, I don’t know how that is supposed to work). There’s a subplot where Tito/Rolo has to learn how to do the crack-of-dawn cock-a-doodle-doo, and he’s terrible at that, too — like, chalk-on-a-board bad — and yet all the young eggs look up to him as a hero, for some reason that is never broached. And naturally he’s got a lady chicken — Di in the Spanish version (the voice of Maite Perroni), Dee in the English version (the voice of Amber Montana), because spelling diversity matters even when it’s all just spoken out loud — who adores him, because all male creatures are awesome and deserve to be worshipped even if they are literally chicken. (Oh, and Di/Dee? She has breasts. Not chicken breasts. Mammalian-style breasts. So that you know she’s female and potentially fuckable by the male protagonist. Again, you know: for kids.)

And all that is before the rapping ducks show up.

I can’t even anymore with this crap.


See also my #WhereAreTheWomen rating of Huevos: Little Rooster’s Egg-Cellent Adventure (Un Gallo con Muchos Huevos) for its representation of girls and women.


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Huevos: Little Rooster’s Egg-Cellent Adventure (Un Gallo con Muchos Huevos) (2015)
US/Can release: Sep 04 2015

MPAA: rated PG for rude and suggestive content, and some action

viewed on my iPad

official site | IMDb | trailer
more reviews: Rotten Tomatoes

If you’re tempted to post a comment that resembles anything on the film review comment bingo card, you might want to reconsider.

  • lilyboosh

    Whether in Spanish or English, una porquería..

  • RogerBW

    This might even beat Sausage Party for worst food-based animated comedy of the year. And Sausage Party looks pretty bad.

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