Just Married (review)

Just dreadful. Ashton Kutcher and Brittany Murphy (8 Mile), without a lick of chemistry and nary a brain cell between them, are two idiots abroad in Europe on what's supposed to be the perfect honeymoon, the perfect capper to their perfect romance. But though they lived together for nine months before the wedding, they don't know each other at all -- she has no idea her new husband enjoys sports, and he is completely clueless about her interest in art. This is meant to make us laugh, but you'll just want to smack some sense into them. Sam Harper's script is so misbegotten that he mostly avoids the very obvious juvenile class humor he could have indulged in -- Kutcher's a working-class moron, while Murphy is a rich bimbo -- in favor of even more juvenile slapstick, including the death of a dog played for laughs. The Three Stooges were Noel Coward by comparison.