cinemastrology: cinemascopes for the week of 03.23-03.29

This cinemastrology stuff just gets weirder and weirder. Still not sure if it’s all a joke...

Here are the ten signs of cinemastrology, and -- according to my informer -- what counsel members of each sign have received for the coming week:

• il rosa della bussola (sign of the compass rose): north, northeast, south, west, southeast, south, east, west

• il chicco di caffè (sign of the coffee bean): venti, venti, tall, tall, grande, venti, tall, venti, tall, grande, grande

• il coltello da formaggio (sign of the cheese knife): no, yes, maybe, yes, yes, no, probably, yes, no, no, no, potentially, no

• il libro dimenticato (sign of the forgotten book): 4 8 15 16 23 43

• il gnocchi avanzi (sign of the leftover potato dumpling): carbs? what are you thinking?

• il pressa enologic (sign of the wine press): syrah, cab, merlot, merlot, house, sangioviese, pinot noir, syrah, merlot, defintely petite syrah

• il pugnale avvelenata (sign of the poisoned dagger): stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab

• il ratto nero infetto con peste (sign of the plague-infected black rat): leave the cage unlocked this week, but change the paper

• il monarca lieto (sign of the joyful king): fire everyone. shred all documents. bribe the press.

• il pittore pazzo (sign of the mad painter): stay in bed with the drapes drawn. avoid the valley.

(catch up with the unfolding story of cinemastrology here)